Finding a Therapist

I am currently trying to find a therapist and I simply am appalled at the fact that no one gets back to you and no one seems to be taking on new clients if they do actually get back to you. I felt the last girl was just too different and I felt judged and not listened to. I really wanted someone else in that office but I felt pushed to this new addition to their staff. Took them 2 MONTHS to reach me after an inquiry from Psychology Today ad. I figured they were one of the many non responders. Saw the new girl 3 times, felt confident bc all my appts were scheduled and didn't have to worry about that at least. And then we get the call, not seeing people in person anymore (last 3 or 4 weeks) and she wants to change her entire schedule, wanting the day I was schedule for as her new day off. So brand new client and we're making several huge changes right away. So I called to ask if they'd stop sending me appointment reminders for appointments she cancelled and I would like a call back. TWO WEEKS later and then all she could says was we'll see what we can do to get you changed. Nothing since then, it's been a week. I don't think the therapists in this office are available at any times other than your appointments. Other places are completely full or non responders. The only place to go in a crisis would be our johnson unit, but I called there and the sounds were horrible and the nurse literally yelled at me and hung up. They give you meds and don't listen if you have bad reactions to them and I would simply walk out much worse than I walked in. We talked about it with my psychiatrist I met 6 months before he retired. He was really the only one who understood me and believed me. I'm afraid for another judgy therapist or, more likely, none. Because no one is available. I'm backsliding at an alarming rate and am terrified of being where I was.

Has anyone had good luck using betterhelp? Or any advice in general? I just don't know what to do. I'm feeling if I don't find someone soon, I'll too far backwards.


What country are you in?

What are you looking for in a therapist?
Sounds like you are paying privately if you went through psychology today, so you have all the choices about who you want. The limitations are the location, if you are having in person therapy. And their availability.

But you are in control and you have choice.

There is a pandemic on, so lots of therapy is online. Mine has been since March 2020, with no sign of when that will change. That isn't what the therapists necessarily want. And is beyond their control.

Sounds like this older male psych, you gelled with. You refer to this therapist as a 'girl'. I'm assuming she isn't! But is actually an adult. But maybe the age, gender of your therapist is something you want to consider? Are you more likely to get on with an older male?


Welcome! I'm sorry that you are experiencing so many bad issues with your therapist and scheduling/communication. That by itself can make things worse. I wouldn't put up with any of what you're describing. I get that there are no therapists available in your area. I think that's becoming more and more of a problem. Since you're already doing online therapy, what about looking outside your area? I'm guessing you're in the US since you mentioned Psychology Today, unless that website services other countries. There are some really good therapists out there and distance no longer needs to be a hurdle.

One thing I hope you can do is leave a bad review for your therapist and the office they work in. It will be a big help for others. I had to start a Yelp and google review for one horrible therapist I saw. There were no other reviews yet. She has since unethically solicited her current clients to leave 5 star reveiws for her, but mine is still up there speaking the truth to warn others.
Thank you for responding. Is it weird I'm surprised? I live in the USA. The last therapist was "excited" to work with me because I'm a very complicated person with deep issues. So I suppose I felt like she was more fascinated than wanting to help me. Three visits and I realized our philosophies or the way we see life differ too much and I felt very judged by her. The psychiatrist was the first person to ever SEE me and understand me and showed empathy. He believed me when I said I react differently to drugs than most people. All of those things were firsts for me. He was kind too, something doctors don't know how to be. But, he was also a prescriber and not a therapist, so there were things he couldn't do for me.

I realized the other day, what I need from a therapist. I just don't like the trial and error. I asked if anyone was on betterhelp because they are not local but I always wonder how competent they are. I don't know where else to look for therapists that do online work. I sometimes feel like no one can help me. Doctors usually give up on me.

That's terrible about your experience Sues. I've had many, many bad and inappropriate experiences with doctors in general. My anxiety gets so high going in that my fibro flares and I can barely function because I'm worried what drug they'll prescribe that will make me psycho or if they will believe this or that or even care.

Finding one that takes our insurance is impossible, so yeah we have to pay privately. Also, the original person I went there for was a christian man and that's who I asked to be moved to, but I don't know if or when I'll hear back. I've written to others and had no response.


I've had many, many bad and inappropriate experiences with doctors in general. My anxiety gets so high going in that my fibro flare
Oh, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I do, too, and I avoid doctors because of it.

I hope you'll try online therapy. I think, because you will not be limited to your particular area, you might be able to find someone that's a fit. If it were me, I'd just be sure to research the provider and the site before committing to anything. I think there are some where you can get a free consultation, too, before committing.


I’m so sorry it’s this is hard. I had a rough go finding someone too. I remember being so frustrated that I had great health insurance but no one was taking patients. I would get excited because I liked their description only to have them not respond or respond they were not taking patients.

I ended up writing a standard message that described a little about me, what I was struggling with, and was I needed. I sent it to anyone who looked decent. Two years later I’m with the same person. She’s great and I’m glad I didn’t give up.

Keep at it. There are great suggestions here. I’m rooting for you.
Thank you for all of your replies. Fibromyalgia has had me in it's grip so I've been unable to do much.
@joeylittle - Thank you! I'll look into them today.
@Sideways - My prescriber refused, said there had been too many problems when he referred in the past so he no longer did that.

I have looked at an online one but I get so nervous I back away until I feel I can try again. It's an approach and retreat method that I end up doing. So far none of my enquiries from last week has responded. Still nothing from the office I had been going to, it's been over a week.

Thank you all for the encouragement. I'm afraid the right doc for me retired and I'm just out of luck.


Sorry you're having a hard time with finding a therapist for you. I am also looking for a therapist with no luck! I've had therapy a lot in the past and need someone who can work with me being a self aware person in general. I am looking specifically for NON CBT therapist, a trauma therapist is what I'm looking for. So far everyone I find is not accepting new patients. I also have to deal with the fact that I can't pay $100+/hr out of pocket! I am thinking about changing my insurance but from what I hear, they are all the same! 99% of therapists that are good don't take insurance at all and I am disabled and on disability. I can't afford these fees! I went through some places for lower income people and the therapist they gave me didn't even have a BA in psychology! He had his BA in engineering and his qualifications were that he had had a rough life experiences. That would make me qualified to be a therapist too! This is disgusting how mental health is so out of reach for common people! I'm going to keep trying but I honestly have no hope of finding someone that matches me!