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Finding Hope

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by TheBestICan, Aug 18, 2007.

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  1. TheBestICan

    TheBestICan New Member

    I've tried researching my feelings online to get a hint of what's wrong with me. PSTD is the only thing that really hit home for me. It all makes so much sense now. I have not been diagnosed professionally but with a little common sense I think this is what I can identify myself with. So here's my story.

    At 11 yrs old my father did something horrible that put my family in danger. I mean life threatening danger. Because of this I lost my father and basically disappeared from the face of this earth with a blink of an eye to anyone and everyone who knew us. I grew up pretty normal. Did things every other teenager did, didn't really have any emotional distress. Had great goals. But I got into a relationship young. I was in an abusive relationship (although he begs to differ) for about 10 years. During this time I went through so many emotional changes. But it is now that they are really, really disturbing my every day life. I am a sack of tears, anger, anxiety, frustration, irritable and unhappiness. But the weirdest thing is that I now fear the trauma that I went through at 11 years old more than I ever did. I have reaccurring dreams. I have a lot of anxiety. I feel as though something terrrible is going to happen to me and my family. My question is why is the fear more intense now?
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  3. reallydown

    reallydown I'm a VIP

    Hi, welcome to the forum.
  4. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Welcome to the forum....Sooner or later PTSD rears it's ugly head and bites us in the arse, when we least expect it. It's been denial all of these years, and now something trigger it to come out.

    Hang around for awhile, look deep within you, and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.....Even if that light is very, very, dim now.....

  5. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

    Welcome and if the light is very dim, READ READ and READ. Then when ready share, you will find this board very healing.
  6. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Welcome thebestican.
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