I'm finding myself dreading therapy sessions again. They're starting to feel like additional shifts amidst work, chores, and other obligations, rather than meaningful experiences. It's disheartening to discuss topics I could easily confide in my sister about, only to realize I'm paying for the same conversation. My therapist often suggests things I've already tried or researched extensively during my multiple inpatient/outpatient stays. When I express my concerns, their response typically boils down to, "Something must be bringing you back." But I already know what’s bringing me back—it's the financial investment. I've dedicated time, effort, and money to therapy already, and stopping now would make it all feel like a waste. However, it's becoming increasingly challenging to see the point in continuing. I have already tried reaching out to my therapist, doing more work individually, and changing expectations. I feel like how I use to feel with religion. Everyone else is having these miraculous experiences of growth yet I am alone, struggling to fake it.