Other Fire Fear

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So, painters at my condo have covered many of the windows with plastic and tape, and they are gone for the day. One of the windows that is covered is my bedroom. It's the only way out of my bedroom, if the door/hallway to the livingroom is impassable. Yes, it's just plastic, and yes, I could probably get it off if I had to get out, but they don't know who is living here and what kind of disability they might have.

Ii am very upset. I lived about a block from one of the largest fires in the US growing up. There was a makeshift morgue just up the street from me, refrigerated trucks carrying bodies going through town for two days, and it's the only thing anyone talked about for years. Decades, really. Even today. I knew the coroner and deputy coroner, did volunteer work with them in a different capacity, and had friends at the place the night of the fire.

This has always been an issue for me--I am even panicky around the time smoke alarm batteries need to be changed.

And now, I can't stop crying.
I unplug things. Lamps, TV, everything except the fridge. If I am not there, it gets unplugged. I didn't think "the fire" had much of an impact on me for a long time, until I realized the effort I put into it, and the anxiety I get if forget to unplug. The lives I will be responsible for because I didn't take care. It's weird, because I LOVE fire, total pyro. When it's in my control, and I respect it's power.

How are you feeling today?
Thanks so much for your reply, @PlainJane. It sounds like you get it. I don't unplug everything when I leave (some things, though); I think I'm more terrified of someone else in the building doing something stupid. I'm just as careful as I can be with the underlying depression; I am filled with anxiety about the smoke alarms, using the stove, etc. Oh, and I do feel cords to make sure they are not hot.

Outside of the house, sirens just melt me. Wherever I am, I burst into tears. And it took decades before I could use black plastic trash bags.

How are you feeling today?
Well, I didn't sleep very well, and now, the painters have also covered my entire patio door with that opaque sheeting. Can's see out at all. And my cats, who are usually my comfort, have both escaped to the back of the closet.

Other than that, I'm fine. LOL
That would be an uncomfortable feeling having the window masked like that. Usually that plastic is is like wet tissue. But still the visual of it would be kinda awful. Hope you can mitigate your exposure to it.

I have to have most of my houses lights on at night...some go on if they detect motion. It gives me some form of relief knowing I can see all corners of the structure, no shadows to hide in. I like having fire extinguishers around too.
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