First step to finding my self again.

Weezley

New Here
Yesterday I had an appointment with my primary Dr to find a good route to get my anxioty under control. She took me off of work for two months, put me on buspirone along with my normal dose of Prozac and has recommended me to see a counselor. I don't do well with being at idle. Ive had a job since I was 13 so down time hasnt really happened much in my life. So I truelly don't know how to handle it. Even just being off the last 5 days has been rough. I find my self just feeling lost and I see that being a problame. So I know I should probably find some way to find more purpose then just being an employee. If I don't i could see my anxioty getting worse. For the longest time I was just content with staring at a screen mindlessly. Now it just gives me time to over think witch leads to cycling thoughts. So what does everyone do to keep there mind body and soul active?
 

Sadielady3

Confident
Last December I started spiraling out of control with my anxiety. By early January, I had to be pulled out of work to attend an Intensive Outpatient Program. I work as a teacher so I am used to being very, very busy with work I find meaningful. It was really hard for me to choose to be away from school for that long.

I found things to do that I enjoyed that were goal orientated. I was spending a lot of time playing video games that have achievements tied to them so I could feel like I accomplished something. That helped me. I am a very goal oriented person so that really checked my boxes. What checks your boxes? Finding that thing and finding a way to incorporate it into your time away from work might help you feel good throughout the day. It was still hard for me to be away but it gave me some small satisfactions throughout my time and helped keep me going.
 

Weezley

New Here
Last December I started spiraling out of control with my anxiety. By early January, I had to be pulled out of work to attend an Intensive Outpatient Program. I work as a teacher so I am used to being very, very busy with work I find meaningful. It was really hard for me to choose to be away from school for that long.

I found things to do that I enjoyed that were goal orientated. I was spending a lot of time playing video games that have achievements tied to them so I could feel like I accomplished something. That helped me. I am a very goal oriented person so that really checked my boxes. What checks your boxes? Finding that thing and finding a way to incorporate it into your time away from work might help you feel good throughout the day. It was still hard for me to be away but it gave me some small satisfactions throughout my time and helped keep me going.
I've been a gamer since I was a kid but Im slowly finding it leaving me feeling empty. To tell you the truth most technology has been making me feel that way. I think the only reason I ever got into gaming is because my parents seen it as a good baby sitter while they went to the bar. But I'm not going to lie I do have a pretty impressive collection of systems and games.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
I feel like I have had a lot of experience with this lately. I was a covid layoff way back in April. Because I can't have a lot of time on my hands, I immediately started taking classes. By late June, we had decided to relocate, so I stayed busy with that. We ended up moving three times and landed where we are now, which is a tiny, quiet village. In between moves, I struggled with having purpose but when we started toward this destination, I began rebuilding portions an RV we bought to live in. It's a 400 square foot park model and the large slide out needed a complete rebuild, so I did that and a few other things around here.

Then, all of a sudden, it got quiet and cold and I irritated some of my old injuries and was told to settle down with the manual labor. I'm back to taking classes and recently started volunteering. I am also on here a lot and have been surprised at how I can feel good about that, at times, as there are often people here who really need support, plus I learn a lot. I exercise regularly, too. I do a lot of writing, as well - journals and other things. I'm also the cook, housekeeper and laundress.

I am looking for work now but all the moving to get my husband where he needed to be made that impossible for a while. It's hard. I don't do well without the structure of a work schedule but I do feel like I have started getting the hang of it and am a whole lot less uncomfortable than I was.
 

Weezley

New Here
I feel like I have had a lot of experience with this lately. I was a covid layoff way back in April. Because I can't have a lot of time on my hands, I immediately started taking classes. By late June, we had decided to relocate, so I stayed busy with that. We ended up moving three times and landed where we are now, which is a tiny, quiet village. In between moves, I struggled with having purpose but when we started toward this destination, I began rebuilding portions an RV we bought to live in. It's a 400 square foot park model and the large slide out needed a complete rebuild, so I did that and a few other things around here.

Then, all of a sudden, it got quiet and cold and I irritated some of my old injuries and was told to settle down with the manual labor. I'm back to taking classes and recently started volunteering. I am also on here a lot and have been surprised at how I can feel good about that, at times, as there are often people here who really need support, plus I learn a lot. I exercise regularly, too. I do a lot of writing, as well - journals and other things. I'm also the cook, housekeeper and laundress.

I am looking for work now but all the moving to get my husband where he needed to be made that impossible for a while. It's hard. I don't do well without the structure of a work schedule but I do feel like I have started getting the hang of it and am a whole lot less uncomfortable than I was.
Oh what I wouldn't give to do a remodel of something yet alone something on a small scale like that. I'm a manual labor kind of guy and living tiny has been peaking my interest for a long time.

My fiance has suggested I do some small projects around our appartment. I just don't like spending money when I don't have any coming in. But I guess I do have alot of the tools already so maybe just finding some cheap or free wood I could make some pretty cool things for this place.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
what I wouldn't give to do a remodel of something
I hear that. I was looking forward to doing the skirting but I'm not going to be able to. My husband started on that project on his own to give me a chance to recuperate.

But I guess I do have alot of the tools already so maybe just finding some cheap or free wood I could make some pretty cool things for this place.
Absolutely. I understand not wanting to get too far into buying stuff but if you have the tools, you can do a lot. One of my friends used to dumpster dive all over Portland and check all the "free stuff" boards and he'd get stuff, fix it up and give it people. I got a nice dining table from him. It was a cheap hobby and because he was recovering from crack addiction, it helped him use up a lot of his excess energy without getting into much trouble since Portlanders don't typically care much about dumpster divers -- reduce, reuse, recycle. He found free building materials regularly on Craigslist and through facebook, too.
 

Weezley

New Here
I hear that. I was looking forward to doing the skirting but I'm not going to be able to. My husband started on that project on his own to give me a chance to recuperate.


Absolutely. I understand not wanting to get too far into buying stuff but if you have the tools, you can do a lot. One of my friends used to dumpster dive all over Portland and check all the "free stuff" boards and he'd get stuff, fix it up and give it people. I got a nice dining table from him. It was a cheap hobby and because he was recovering from crack addiction, it helped him use up a lot of his excess energy without getting into much trouble since Portlanders don't typically care much about dumpster divers -- reduce, reuse, recycle. He found free building materials regularly on Craigslist and through facebook, too.
It's kinda funny that you posted something about looking at the free stuff I actually just got back from picking up a free chair I found on craigs list. Figured I already know wood working so refinishing the wood will be snap and recovering it will just give me reason to further my knowledge about sewing. Lol. But I'm not going to lie I'm shocked I even found anything for free. Where I'm from we see everything being worth atleast alittle bit. So there's never really anything in the dumpsters.

Smartest possible thing you could do ^^^right here^^^. Find purpose, and find direction.

I don’t, anymore/right now, and when I stopped? Is when my life went from middling bad to FUBAR.
That's what I'm afraid of. But I truelly have collected a wide variety of skills in my life I truelly should just start honing the ones I enjoyed. I hope you find your purpose and direction once again. Your still breathing. So can't be completely fubared. So there's still hope.
 

Weezley

New Here
I've been a gamer since I was a kid but Im slowly finding it leaving me feeling empty. To tell you the truth most technology has been making me feel that way. I think the only reason I ever got into gaming is because my parents seen it as a good baby sitter while they went to the bar. But I'm not going to lie I do have a pretty impressive collection of systems and games.
So today we went threw alot of our movies and games and orginezed them. It gave me alot of time to think about why I enjoyed all these things. Even if it wasn't something I could see before your suggestion it really did open my eyes so thank you. :) I think I lived most of my life living out of boxes its just in the fear of not wanting to get comfortable because of the unknown. So it made enjoying all these things very unpractical. So I just stopped enjoying alot about life. I'm thinking later tonight I'm gonna go play some skyrim. Do you get into more of the newer games or do you also get into some older games?
 

Sadielady3

Confident
@Weezley , the game I played when I was down and out was Undertale. It really spoke to me. Lately I've been playing Don't Starve Together with friends. I also play Final Fantasy XIV on PC. That one really helps me when I'm feeling aimless because there are so many different things I can work on and achieve. I do well with the goal achievement aspect of video games. Older games are good for me too but I'd have to actually hook up my old consoles to get into those. Like you, I live a lot in boxes and never get super comfortable anywhere so I haven't hooked them up in a long time now.
 

Weezley

New Here
I remember playing the 7th final fantasy and still own it. I truelly enjoyed it. When I get our playstation hooked up I'll have to bust it out again. Slowly but surely I'll get them all hooked up again. I love just wondering around in skyrim. Every time I start it over it's never the same and it always feels new. One of my favorite older games is castle of illusions staring Micky mouse. I remember playing that one all the time when I was a kid.
 

Kittie

Confident
What I miss most is going to the gym, so now I exercise at home. I don't have a pool, so I built a sauna out of redwood. It gets the kinks out of this old bod! I come out feeling like a new old lady!

With the living room empty and everything that used to be in there packed, I now have a place to play with my cyr wheel. I won't do upside down crazy moves anymore, but its a way to have energetic fun and its low-impact (unless I land on the floor!). Best wishes!
 
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