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First time sex after rape/abuse/assault

Discussion in 'Sexual Assault' started by Brokensoulgirl, Jun 19, 2018.

    Yesterday I had sex for the first time after being sexual assaulted on a weekly basis for 2 years
    It's almost a year ago since it stopped
    I didn't have sex until yesterday. For months I would panic when being touched and didn't think I would ever have sex again. I was diagnosed with PTSD 8 months ago.
    Yesterday all of a sudden everything felt just right and I felt so safe and not scared, I had sex with a friend I knew for 7 years. During sex something triggered me in a quite heavy panic attack and we stopped. I feel so confused.

    Why was it possible to have sex all of a sudden? Should I be ashamed right now? Should I tell my T or will she judge me because I have been so terrified for months and all of a sudden I had sex with this friend of mine?

    Back to the the title of this tread a question for you: when was the first time you had sex again after being raped/abused/ assaulted?
    How long did it take? Who was it? How did it go?
    How did it effect you in the long run (did your ptsd got worse?)

    Please share your stories if you want. And give me your opinion about my situation/and choices.
     
    Swift likes this.
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  2. Swift

    Swift I'm a VIP

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    Hey - congrats on feeling safe enough to have sex, even if it was only for a little bit!
    There's no need to be ashamed! I think it's a great step in your healing process. I'd definitely bring it up with your T though. I really, really doubt she'll judge you. She'll probably want to explore it, though.

    So, I had this response to trauma where I basically decided the best way to get over it was to have a lot of sex. My abuser was a woman, I really didn't want to be gay, so I decided to turn myself straight, and actually thought that would work. (It didn't.)
    It was about five months after I last saw her when I realised she was never coming back to me, got drunk, called a boy, sex.
    I didn't have sex with someone I actually liked for about 3 years. She was a really sweet girl I dated in uni for a year.
    I didn't let go sexually until I was about 20. Then, I was raped again, and decided to basically have sex ASAP to wash the memory out. With another girl I'd been seeing in a kink context.
    I still haven't managed to have truly intimate sex.
    I read this book called Healing Sex, though, which gave me some great tips on being okay having sex and not doing it in a self-destructive way.
     
    Sietz likes this.
  3. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    There really is no one way that things should go or how you should react. You may be able to have no sexual issues, or you may be on the other end of the spectrum and have reactions every time you get intimate with someone.
     
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