It's been one year plus of constant, strong PTSD symptoms for me. Lately I get fixated on specific details of my traumatic experiences (primarily 5 years of childhood sexual abuse w/sadistic elements) or of the offender's potential other victims.
This causes me to pour over court documents, FBI profiling materials, and internet search engines looking for clues about how to expose the criminal in my case and/or hold him accountable and/or make sure he stops his pedophilic assaults. Although his time was served in my case, he certainly did not make ammends and heavily minimized what he had done to me in disclosure with family members. However, he's in prison for a new, similar crime at the moment, awaiting appeal.
This morning I read a court-related transcript regarding the crime he is currently doing time for in which the father of the child assaulted says that he thought the perpetrator possibly forced two children into sexual contact in his presence while they were spending an overnight at his house. As far as I know, there is no charge related to this.
In the past, this fixated thinking of mine resulted in presentation to the prosecution of photographs of the perp. and child posted on his myspace profile that law enforcement had not seen.
My counselor suggested that the fixation is a form of hypervilligilance that is protective.
I think this perp. has MANY other victims, that if they came forward he would never hit the street again, and that some solidarity with other victims/survivors would help me to unbalance the minimization of child and adult sexual assault that doesn't leave bruises.
I'm wondering regarding your trauma...
1. Do you get fixated?
2. Do you follow up with it?
3. What are the pros and cons of your fixations?
This causes me to pour over court documents, FBI profiling materials, and internet search engines looking for clues about how to expose the criminal in my case and/or hold him accountable and/or make sure he stops his pedophilic assaults. Although his time was served in my case, he certainly did not make ammends and heavily minimized what he had done to me in disclosure with family members. However, he's in prison for a new, similar crime at the moment, awaiting appeal.
This morning I read a court-related transcript regarding the crime he is currently doing time for in which the father of the child assaulted says that he thought the perpetrator possibly forced two children into sexual contact in his presence while they were spending an overnight at his house. As far as I know, there is no charge related to this.
In the past, this fixated thinking of mine resulted in presentation to the prosecution of photographs of the perp. and child posted on his myspace profile that law enforcement had not seen.
My counselor suggested that the fixation is a form of hypervilligilance that is protective.
I think this perp. has MANY other victims, that if they came forward he would never hit the street again, and that some solidarity with other victims/survivors would help me to unbalance the minimization of child and adult sexual assault that doesn't leave bruises.
I'm wondering regarding your trauma...
1. Do you get fixated?
2. Do you follow up with it?
3. What are the pros and cons of your fixations?