Flashback now...

[SeekingAfrica]

...hasn't been this strong in a while...can't breathe...everything is in and out off focus...
..cranked the heat up and I'm still shaking, and I can't do... I'm in bed hiding...took my sleep meds and it's not even time yet... turned lights off... can't feel my body....

 

[Defaultxlove]

hey...I know those feelings/days..did something happen? (sorry if I missed it or forgot)

hugs if you want 🫂

 

[SeekingAfrica]

hey...I know those feelings/days..did something happen? (sorry if I missed it or forgot)

hugs if you want 🫂

Trigger. ... I can't... I can't... I just, lots to do but I can't exist... not now... it keeps... coming in flashes..
...n.eed to not be conscious or exist... I can't can't breathe

 

[Friday]

Swimmers trick : If you can talk? You can breathe.

Try talking, singing, counting. The sound of your own voice means that no matter how much it feels like you can’t breathe, you are breathing.

If you need to relax, instead of curled up tight? Try horizontal positions (laying on your back in bed) or stand up, one hand on the wall or bed frame, and with me… saying them out loud also gives you your voice & breath… first position, second position, third position, fourth position, fifth. Again. Focus on your form. First position. Second position. Third position. Fourth position. Fifth. Again. Shoulders back. Head up. Begin. First position. Second position. Third position. Fourth position. Fifth. Again.

 

[Defaultxlove]

trigger -----> grounding. I know trying grounding techniques when its really bad..can feel so annoying but its worth it.

another one is 5 different textures around the room

sitting with you SeekingAfrica..you are not alone

 

[SeekingAfrica]

sitting with you SeekingAfrica..you are not alone

Thank you. Need this. As I'm starting to feel it's better and will sleep in an hour because of the meds... but as I start to feel I also badly want to cry and like apologize to everyone e cause this is affecting me.

My grounding issue is not remembering techniques when I need them, especially when I am better for a bit and not using them daily. Will make cards the next days.

Please be around for Bit if you can. Need that.

first position, second position, third position, fourth position, fifth. Again. Focus on your form. First position. Second position. Third position. Fourth position. Fifth. Again. Shoulders back. Head up

Oh jeez... thank God that you know I do ballet. Put some random long piano music from yt. Couldn't breathe so i did this as meditation at first. The holding to a wall with closed eyes. The opened and motor memory and brain connections kicked in. Didn't do much, just basic demi plies and tendus in each position ...

STILL. I feel tense and wrecked, but I feel here again. Its winter again not summer and im here and no where else. Well a little somewhere but at least I can breathe so progress. I need like... flashcards for writing what works at those moments.

It hasn't happened like,e this in a while. You always forget how time shrinks and all becomes a background noise and your memory becomes fragmented. Somehow I lost 4 h.

I hate him, i hate him, i hate them, i hatethis lime ill spill my gutsand my worldis upsidedown and my bodystil, hur tson weird places.
But I'm breathing.

This works as a first step, thank you.

 

[Defaultxlove]

Yup I am at my desk with you <3

Will make cards the next days.

this sounds good!

 

[Defaultxlove]

Hows it going SA?

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Sl8ght

Hows it going SA?

Slightly better. Meds kicked in so fall8ng asleep. Thank you!!
Hope tomorrow is better.

 

[Friday]

Please be around for Bit if you can. Need that.

Please keep in mind that we’re peer support & Not a crisis service.

If you need help IRL… please.. DO hit up IRL resources. A ‘suicide warning’ is about to follow, even though that’s not where you’re at / as it has resources linked.

Mad love atcha.

Friday