First off, I'd just like to say how stupid this all sounds- this is probably the weirdest confession I've ever made.
I've been suffering from what I like to call "flashback overload". Basically, I get one flashback, and another right after it, and I get so confused that I curl up into a ball, sob my eyes out for what seems to be an hour, then when I get up I can't remember where I am.
The problem is this- my trigger is running water, (washing hands at school makes me cry, getting tea from the caf makes me cry,)- and this is happening in the shower. What makes it worse is the fact that I'm worried that someone will come in, see me curled up in the shower- and it's humiliating to think of being found naked while having a flashback.
I can't really stop it though. I can't take a pill in the shower (They are in my purse, and I usually get the flashbacks in the middle of taking the shower.) I've tried to think of other things, (I like to sing showtunes! :D ] And it's impossible to use the sense of sound, taste, smell, touch and sight to ground myself, since the trauma is actually completely bathroom/change room related. It seems as if there are just too many similarities, and I'm powerless to stop it.
So if anybody has any suggestions on how I could take a shower in peace and not go back to avoidance behaviours, it would be appreciated!
I've been suffering from what I like to call "flashback overload". Basically, I get one flashback, and another right after it, and I get so confused that I curl up into a ball, sob my eyes out for what seems to be an hour, then when I get up I can't remember where I am.
The problem is this- my trigger is running water, (washing hands at school makes me cry, getting tea from the caf makes me cry,)- and this is happening in the shower. What makes it worse is the fact that I'm worried that someone will come in, see me curled up in the shower- and it's humiliating to think of being found naked while having a flashback.
I can't really stop it though. I can't take a pill in the shower (They are in my purse, and I usually get the flashbacks in the middle of taking the shower.) I've tried to think of other things, (I like to sing showtunes! :D ] And it's impossible to use the sense of sound, taste, smell, touch and sight to ground myself, since the trauma is actually completely bathroom/change room related. It seems as if there are just too many similarities, and I'm powerless to stop it.
So if anybody has any suggestions on how I could take a shower in peace and not go back to avoidance behaviours, it would be appreciated!