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Flashbacks Are The Worst Trying To Fall Asleep

Discussion in 'Dissociation, Depersonalization & Derealization' started by JoannaDoe, Feb 7, 2017.

  1. JoannaDoe

    JoannaDoe Policy Enforcement Banned

    I hate going to sleep. Its when the flashbacks hit hard, and I am in a half awake state with no defenses.....
    Any solutions?

    Its part of why I'm on disability. I hate the panic, and fear,and torment of 30 + years of abuse, and memories. f*ck its hard to breath when they hit. But, tonight no electrical nerve pain. Just rapid heart beat, and fear, and emotional pain.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2017
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  3. Keming

    Keming Pleasant pheasant peasant Premium Member

    any joy w/ lucid dreaming techniques ?
  4. JoannaDoe

    JoannaDoe Policy Enforcement Banned

    Yes. I've been meditating for 30 years, and into brain functioning through diffrent spiritual conections, and functions within spirituality, and psychology as well as hard imperial science. I just can't do much in the state of flashbacks that brutally painful. I've had a cold so it hit me on an emotional level due to the inability to control my body. I used to be able to control my breathing, and heart rate/blood pressure; part of which I thank my brother who is ten years older for torturing me as a kid by physically almost killing me repeatedly, and mixing it in with wwf sleeper holds to time how long I can stay awake from 4-5. And, part from doing yoga for 20 years.
    I just can't do it with a cold, and honestly kind of had to get traumatized, and go through supprise emersion therapy (geting all your memories back from blanks in your memories due to a surgery, and multiple medication interaction) I can't really do much during flashbacks now except put some substance in my body rather it be a cigarette (3 a day), or weed (hardly now a few nights a week), or a beer. And, sometimes all three. I'm sick so I haven't done anything.
    The memories are like new because I didn't remember them, seriously I had blak boxes in the attics of my brain. I have only lived through some of them once after it happened as far back as 34 years ago. I don't know. The cold, and being without any substances for two days left me vulnerable. Even a cigarette is fine, and I can be sober longer.
    The Theraflu, and all the cold flu medicine make me loopy. Sorry I'm blabering on. I do that sometimes. I smoked a cigarette, so maybe now I can sleep. I just hope I don't caugh myself awake.
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