Flashbacks Do Have A Good Side

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I've been dreaming a lot more about what happened the night of the accident. I just remembered how the air bag sounded when it deployed (like a giant popping balloon). Conversations with a nurse or some female about wanting pain medicine and not being able to have it because they still were observing me to see what all was wrong. Confiding that I was afraid of dying before I confessed my sins. It was odd because it was like I was split from my body and I was listening to two people talking and I was a third person. It sounds negative but these are all things I thought were gone from my memory forever. If I can remember it, at least I can attempt to deal with it.


Traumatic memories are processed, stored and triggered in a different way to ordinary memories. They get chopped up into disjointed elements which intrude back into awareness. The disjointedness comes from the separation between what you witnessed and what you experienced. You say you saw and heard things in these flashbacks, but your emotional turmoil is absent from the narrative - you were an observer. It is only when you can integrate what you felt with what happened tangibly that you can store and refer to it more like an ordinary memory. (Though it will never be 'ordinary', it will be less likely to hijack your brain.) That's why you have to go through the hurt and not dodge it. It is a good sign that you brain is coming up with the scenario - you may be ready to retrieve and process the feelings, join the dots as it were.


Pookie, flashbacks are different from dreams or nightmares, where flashbacks are triggered by an event, which basically stops you and puts you back into a moment within your trauma, where memories that come within dreams are just that, memories coming through, not a flashback as such.

Its a good positive sign though that memories are coming back to you, regardless how they do, knowing allows you to deal with them, opposed to not knowing and taking guesses, which means your brain cannot deal with what it cannot fully understand. Good stuff.
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