For those who have made new relationships, how did you become visible?

silverwhale

New Here
for those who met already a new relationship, what is the first step to become visible to the outer world in order to attract a relationship ? How did you connect ? I try via Apps as we cannot meet in person right now but it seems like a never ending hopeless thing
 

joeylittle

Administrator
Adding, the OP posted in a different thread:
Even if I'm 50 years old, I don't have a lot of relationship experiences : or I choose people that are living too far away, or people don't give me a chance and time enough to build a strong relationship and they prefer to leave me and go with another partner.
In my professional life, I don't have any issue to talk with men and work with men. But in my private life it's like I'm transparent, nobody sees me. Nobody tries to talk to me, to know me, even just to become a friend. Everybody is just interested in my professional competences and that's it. Jokes, beers, coffee, restaurants, invitations are not meant for me.
And now with this covid, I'm kind of isolated. There is no way that I can meet new people. I try everyday to do my homework on Tinder App and try to meet new people. But my longest chat was with someone who at the end asked me for money. Another abuser.
Do you have some tips and tricks that I could use to meet people and have some social interactions?

I don't have any thoughts for you @silverwhale - but hopefully others will.
 

mumstheword

MyPTSD Pro
I met mine while parenting. His was friend's with mine. I used to take care of his. He got custody of his boys. Our boys were besties.

I made the first move, though, or none of it would have happened. He was terribly burnt.

I couldn't do the dating thing. I'm not a conventional type of person.

I used to have a very visable occupation, but, when working, I'm working, so yeah, it's not visibility the way I experience it, it's more "fate" or "destiny".

Who I'm with, is not from "my scene" other than he moved to my town to parent his boys, because their mum is a mess, an abusive mess, mine too, my co-parent, so we had that in common.

We both have a long history of trauma, but, in the long run, that has been a plus, as we know what each other struggle with and can give what each need, because of it.
 
I made some friends. For me, that was hard. I didn't let them get close. Then, I attended an event with a few of them, and I had a conversation with someone I didn't know. We had a shared interest, so we kept meeting to talk about it. We liked each other. The person did not flinch away from me, or the parts of my story that I told when I realized it was safe to be honest. We ended up dating.
 

Elsewhere

Learning
We met years ago in a social club that does outdoor activities. We share a passion—that helped a lot. It also provided an excuse for us to engage in the same activity as just the two of us, which quickly blossomed into romance. Noteworthy: I made the first move (I’m a woman, my partner is a man)

I’m glad we met when we did, because my condition has deteriorated considerably (for reasons outside the relationship) since we met, despite his neverending love and support. At this point in my life, I’ve become very isolated from the rest of humanity, but I do live with my partner and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Despite my overall decline, I do believe that parts of me are healing, thanks to his love. So, based on my experience, I encourage folks who want a relationship to take the steps to try to find one (a good one... much better to be alone than suffer any type of abuse), although I realize it’s not easy, especially now.

FWIW, I told him early on about my mental health problems, including frequent suicidal ideation. He didn’t flinch.

I wish you luck. Love can be good, and healing
 

silverwhale

New Here
We met years ago in a social club that does outdoor activities. We share a passion—that helped a lot. It also provided an excuse for us to engage in the same activity as just the two of us, which quickly blossomed into romance. Noteworthy: I made the first move (I’m a woman, my partner is a man)

I’m glad we met when we did, because my condition has deteriorated considerably (for reasons outside the relationship) since we met, despite his neverending love and support. At this point in my life, I’ve become very isolated from the rest of humanity, but I do live with my partner and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Despite my overall decline, I do believe that parts of me are healing, thanks to his love. So, based on my experience, I encourage folks who want a relationship to take the steps to try to find one (a good one... much better to be alone than suffer any type of abuse), although I realize it’s not easy, especially now.

FWIW, I told him early on about my mental health problems, including frequent suicidal ideation. He didn’t flinch.

I wish you luck. Love can be good, and healing
thank you for your so authentic answer. I wish you the very best in life. with my true compassion
 
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