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Forgetting where i am

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Stephernovas

MyPTSD Pro
today I was driving with a plan in mind of what I was going to do (I.e. stop at the store and withdrawl some cash to pay the dog groomer). While in the vehicle heading to the store, I thought about something else for a split second, and when I came back I was confused about where I was going and why. I was soon able to recite the plan again in my head, but I’m noticing this as a bit of an issue. Is this normal? Or is this what some of you mean when you say you dissociate?
 
I do this often. From forgetting where I am driving to putting the peanut butter in fridge. The best is when I forget to turn off the tap on dishes sitting in the sink and walk to find 30 minutes later that soap suds have invaded my apartment with a ton of water.

It’s a sign of many things. The biggest indicator is that your mind isn’t in the moment or focused. You’re not alone. Stress and traumas are a hell of a beast on maintaining present course.
 
This happens to me a lot when I am driving or shopping. I wonder if it's just part of the trauma "autopilot" experience, when we are doing mindless activities, but it definitely feels like a weird purgatory when I "snap" out of it.. usually hours later. I have learned some techniques to ground myself when I feel this way, but it seems like I'm almost instantly too far gone to even try them.
 
I have similar episodes sometimes. It's most problematic when I'm running errands, where I just can't remember where the hell I was driving to or where I wanted to go. My passenger will have to remind me to turn left in 2 blocks, but half a block later I've already forgotten. Just driving my jeep is hard enough, never mind remembering where I'm supposed to be going. Everything get kind of stretched out, and there's a hazy light distortion around everything. I have to concentrate really hard on what I'm doing when that starts, and then I just want to get home as quickly as possible. The effort of concentrating during these episodes is just exhausting, and I'll end up crashed out or just a zombie for the rest of the day.

It happens at home, at therapy (when I was in it), at work (when I was still working), in the middle of conversations... basically anywhere, anytime. It's frightening though when it starts and I'm already driving, I feel like I'm DUI and might cause an accident.

Skills help somewhat, not completely. Enough to get me home if I'm out.
 
Yes, I get this a lot. I've read that going through trauma when young, and at a time when the brain is still developing can have some repercussions on short term memory. I'm not sure if this applies here, but I definitely identify with it. It's not just when I'm stressed that I forget where I am, or what I've been doing.

It can be difficult to be a fully functioning person with poor short term memory. Which is why I use to do apps, put notes everywhere. Or even have physical barriers in place when I know I'm likely to forget something and I need a very visual reminder.
 
I've done that quite often. It's more concerning when I dissociate while driving and then "wake up" and I'm still driving. I don't necessarily forget during those moments where I'm going, but I forget A Lot of what I'm doing in general. This increases a lot during stress. I've had a bad memory since high school and it's been a running joke in my family "if you're that bad now, what will you be like when you're 50?" They didn't know most of what waa going on outside the home, nor would have made the connection to a poor memory/dissociation.
 
I am really mission orientated because of this. I used to have a steel trap memory...was well known for it. But after developing ptsd...it started to wain. I fought against it with visual aids, to do lists, learning anything became incredibly more difficult than it used to be and is a serious impediment to me doing any further education now. I use a GPS for finding my way around. The map and arrows remind me where I need to be or help me get back to where I need to be.

I find there are blank spaces. I don't know what I am doing, thinking etc., in those blank spaces. I have found the more stimuli going on the less I can concentrate which is odd bc I have spent most of my working life in high stimuli environment and operated perfectly well. Now, not a chance.

I grieve for my loss of memory. I know people notice it. But they do not asign it to ptsd.... Well to be fair they don't know I have ptsd or would not tolerate knowing. I don't know what they think is going on when I lose track of something or stop in the midst of a conversation. I don't know that it has happened myself till I 'come back'.
 
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