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Forgiving ourselves...

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Vee

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I want to make a point of saying that sometimes our harshest critics are ourselves. I know that the person hardest on myself is me. So I want to take the time to remind myself, and everyone else out there hurting of a few things:

It's okay to grieve. It's okay to grieve for a long time. There is no timetable on grief. What may take one person a year, may take another person 10 years.

It's okay to grieve for your inner child. If you had a shitty childhood filled with abuse or neglect, it's okay to grieve for that kid. Grieve for him/her/them. Then you can move on from being the victim.

It's okay to feel bad for people you see on the news. This means that you are a caring, empathetic human being that you can still feel. And it's okay if you need to turn off the news to preserve your own sanity. Again, it doesn't mean that you don't care; you just can relate too much.

It's okay to feel scared. Sometimes life is scary. We all struggle to accept the scary times along with the safe times.

Those are just a few of the things I'm forgiving myself for today.

What other things do we also need to remember to forgive ourselves for?
 
I am in the process of forgiving myself for freezing when I recently had a home intrusion... tho my body and soul felt it was an invasion. Trying to see that my freezing, immediately followed by wanting to fight, helped the situation to not escalate and I'm not in jail.
Just giving myself time to feel so damned sad that my home does not feel safe now... I don't feel safe... being hyper-vigilant to everything... forgiving myself and loving myself for being human... and grateful I have paid attention to all the lessons leading up to this last event...

I read something many years ago, that helps the 'adult' me get thru times like this... " We are spiritual beings, trying to accept our humanness"...I forgive myself for freezing... it worked out for the best in the end anyway.

Great thread !
 
So what is the point of this thread if it’s just about forgiving ourselves when we’ve done nothing wrong?

I really don’t get it.
 
Ok. Still not understanding.

It’s like saying you’ll forgive yourself for breathing.

Why not deal with the fact that you’re doing nothing wrong instead of reinforcing this false notion that you’re acting badly and need self forgiveness?
 
I think this is a great question....

I have many things I did as part of my trauma that I cannot forgive myself for. I can't even begin to try. It's mostly from the inner critic who wants nothing to do with the whole self compassion crap and who reminds me constantly about the things I feel guilty about-- misplaced or not.

I would love to hear how others have handled those challenges. I'll take all the suggestions I can get!
 
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