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Fourth of july: what's one/something you do to tolerate it better?

Discussion in 'Social' started by Renestel, Jul 2, 2017.

  1. Renestel

    Renestel Active Member

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    Hi everyone-
    For all those that are in the areas that celebrate 4th of July, I wanted to throw this out, because ever since I moved into my new neighborhood/dug deeper in therapy, I have had a harder time with this holiday. My neighbors are very disrespectful with fireworks, (last year I nearly got my face hit by one because kids thought it would be funny to shoot it into moving cars with windows open) shoot it into others backyards, etc. Plus I have many veterans that are great friendly neighbors of ours, and most of all, my dog has SEVERE noise sensitivity and PTSD. So I always start out trying to look out for her, then we end up in the same place when it gets really bad.
    So to lighten the mood as much as possible, maybe be helpful to everyone including me, I would love to hear things people do to diffuse the hardships of the fourth weekend when you are extremely sensitive to it.
    My attempt today: gardening, walking the dogs to tire them (and me) out, and then turning on loud tv or music at all times to drown it out.
     
    littleoc, Rain, Ronin and 1 other person like this.
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  3. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

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    I have a longer list elsewhere, but just a few (aside from going camping or visiting our lovely neighbors north or south of the border).

    - Bouncing a basketball. The noise and vibrations helps diffuse other noise & concussions.

    - Light off my own fireworks. Control factor.

    - Have a grading system. Nothing is as awful as it could be with bets & prizes & a great deal of laughter attached. :sneaky:
     
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  4. Renestel

    Renestel Active Member

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    I TOTALLY understand the control factor! So funny you mention that. I actually really personally like fireworks AS LONG as I know what's going on and where--and I also think with my location maybe it's more of an overall feeling of being unsafe and my personal space and family safety being put in jeopardy? Not exactly sure.
    I love the idea about the basketball. I may even try bouncing a tennis ball around the house this weekend to see how my dog acts. Maybe that will help her a little. We've been to the vet and I've got oils and meds and all that, but would love to make raw progress. She's so smart. She can do it. Thanks, Friday!!
     
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  5. Rain

    Rain To have hope is a choice Banned Premium Member Generous $250+

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    The preholiday fireworks going off all around me have been like nearby bombs exploding except there is no destruction.They go off randomly and I am just trying to occupy myself with other things and keep the awareness that it is going to be quite loud and startle me. So I am planning to do the best I can to get through this holiday. I too. love fireworks when I know a show is going to be on for them. I do not have headphones sadly because I really think that would soften the blows so to speak. I wish you the best with this one. Calling my manager to locate the source has been helpful to so reaching out to friends is something I am going to do.
     
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  6. 8888

    8888 I'm a VIP

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    Earplugs help me with noise somewhat.
     
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  7. Flip flop

    Flip flop Active Member

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    I cuddle with my dogs, lock all doors and windows, stay inside, play music and tell myself, "This too shall pass, even if it feels like a kidney stone." :)
     
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  8. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong I love flowers! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    Our town holds a Wagon Train, horses pulling covered wagons, folks with their kids and dogs riding in them, etc. It was about 30 wagons long this year, as this is its 40th anniversary, I am told. I saw it yesterday in full, and saw some of it today. It is quaint, as you might imagine.

    The sun is out now, so if it does not rain, our town will blow off some professional fireworks, which I can see from my living room window, if I can get the shade up. If I recall, it is broken and won't go up, so I might have to stand with it behind me or something. Anyway, I usually don't mind the sounds, but I did have a dog who was really freaked out by them, so I can totally relate to that and feeling powerless about it. I would try to soothe my dog's nerves by holding her in my lap and petting her. She would shake though, throughout the whole time they would blow them off. It really was only for 5 or 10 minutes, but seeing her suffer made it seem like a lot longer!
     
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  9. Renestel

    Renestel Active Member

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    Thank you everyone for taking the time to give suggestions, they are very appreciated. This year I tried something I saw on a Cesar Milan site which said slowly about ten days before the 4th, start upping the tv louder and louder each day, or music, turn on the dishwasher as well, whatever. As some of you guys said, drowning out the noise really helped us all, the hardest part was when the big guns came out the last three days. Where I live, anything leaving the ground is illegal because it's just too dry and it's burned down roofs, patios and even lawns. But apparently this was the year that many people drove to our next state over and bought those professional style M80's. My dogs would cower even with all the noise (even though it took it from a 10 to a 5) and look at me like, does this bother you? If it bothers you, then it definitely bothers me. But I was able to put on a tough face and stay strong enough, act like everything was completely fine with me and us, to where they laid down after. It was huge progress, (my dog used to shove herself under the bed and shake, even get a really upset stomach) but I noticed that it took so much out of me. I did have two nights that I had enough and walked around the block or drove around the block to see who was setting them off so bad, but couldn't see well enough to ask them nicely to stop because they're illegal, after hours, and there's been a week of this or call the cops. I guess this is just always a process. I'm all tweaky and scratching my hair, face and arms so much to where they are SOO dry. But I've had this reset button experience before. Baby steps, get to the gym now that the worst is over, take strides going outside again, talking to people again, etc. And as @Flip flop said, hopefully this will pass. @Friday, the ball did well with my dog on the not absolutely crazy days, thanks for the tip! Good distraction.
     
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  10. Bkinder

    Bkinder Well-Known Member

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    Going to stay with trusted and loyal friends instead of family. I'm celebrating this 4th of July as my personal Independence Day-freedom from an unhealthy life and trauma....taking off the black shroud of morning my father and the loss of my grandson and all the others who made up my crazy life last year, who I had to leave behind to get in a better place........
    without the emotional chaos and drama, and working on me and my health, and move forward. ....I'm sailing on the 4th of July with my friends and will watch the fireworks from the waterside. Something different...hoping it doesn't rain or the fireworks aren't cancelled for wind.
     
  11. SpiritSong

    SpiritSong I love flowers! Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I have some friends who live quite a ways out in the country, where fireworks are not frequently blown off, and I stay with them for the day. I enjoy seeing and hearing the professional ones blown off in the evening, so I am fortunate, in that I can see them right out my living room window! And since I am expecting the sounds, no problem. It is the unexpected ones in the middle of the day that get to me mostly.
     
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  12. Renestel

    Renestel Active Member

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    Now that its coming up on a year later, do my hands still get sweaty preparing for the what should be a night of enjoyable professional fireworks is instead three weeks of kids and drunken idiots lighting off illegal stuff in our location thats so dry we are told to not even have campfires,? YES. Do I have more coping skills with my anxiety and more skills and education with my dogs secere anxiety? Yes. The ones that get me still are the ones anywhere from 12-4 am. Those affect my sleep and we all know, PTSD makes for some serious nightmares. Top it with M80s at 2 am, July becomes a month I just want to hibernate. But I gotta be here for the 1 of 2 fur babies that needs me for sanity. This email of new response was a great reminder I should be prepping for this right now for the health of myself and my dog. Thx everyone!
     
    littleoc likes this.
  13. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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    Ah fck. July 4th is on a Wednesday. That’s the worst day it could possibly be ( followed by Tuesday and Thursday) as that means there is no ONE Fourth of July weekend. Two weekends of craziness! Arg. I live in the middle of nowhere with quiet neighbors so it shouldn’t be so bad. I just need to be home by dusk.
     
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