OK.I have to believe things happen for a reason...........UUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
This new person i have just met is an advocate for people living with psychiatric disorders...on a couple of boards ect.
He also worked in a group home for 13 years.
So...F**k of course my past still haunts me and it is just something that I have not spoken about yet (my GOD, i hid so much for so long...it feels like an explosion is going off inside my head and my emotions are crazy.)
I have not gotten to this in my diary yet but after my Dad died and i was raped...I tried to commit suicide....I think i was 16 then. In the time frame of a bout a year, i went in and out of the psych ward....they then put me in a group home with others with psychiatric disorders (OK....I was a kid...I don't know what my diagnosis was, i think depression......pisses me right off that I ended up there and no one was there to help (family) and i think the youth group leaders were really afraid that I was going to kill myself...........I was there 6 weeks (group home) my 17 year old cousin took me in (she was on her own too) There was a 43 year old shizophrenic, a 30 year old schizophrenic, and a 30 year old with depression she did ultimately commit suicide. The other two were grown men. i used to push my dresser against the door at night to sleep. i hate this memory and my new friend is definately a trigger. I am just frustrated today and i just finally don't have a migraine (this one lasted 40 hours) Just having a really bad day and i think i am getting flooded with more memories, i am not sure how else to explain it. I wish i could just let this stuff out of my head for good? One trauma talked about and another pops up...it feels like i am going crazy!
This new person i have just met is an advocate for people living with psychiatric disorders...on a couple of boards ect.
He also worked in a group home for 13 years.
So...F**k of course my past still haunts me and it is just something that I have not spoken about yet (my GOD, i hid so much for so long...it feels like an explosion is going off inside my head and my emotions are crazy.)
I have not gotten to this in my diary yet but after my Dad died and i was raped...I tried to commit suicide....I think i was 16 then. In the time frame of a bout a year, i went in and out of the psych ward....they then put me in a group home with others with psychiatric disorders (OK....I was a kid...I don't know what my diagnosis was, i think depression......pisses me right off that I ended up there and no one was there to help (family) and i think the youth group leaders were really afraid that I was going to kill myself...........I was there 6 weeks (group home) my 17 year old cousin took me in (she was on her own too) There was a 43 year old shizophrenic, a 30 year old schizophrenic, and a 30 year old with depression she did ultimately commit suicide. The other two were grown men. i used to push my dresser against the door at night to sleep. i hate this memory and my new friend is definately a trigger. I am just frustrated today and i just finally don't have a migraine (this one lasted 40 hours) Just having a really bad day and i think i am getting flooded with more memories, i am not sure how else to explain it. I wish i could just let this stuff out of my head for good? One trauma talked about and another pops up...it feels like i am going crazy!