Justmehere
Sponsor
A suicidal friend said this to me today.
He's elderly, losing weight, and has been depressed for some time. I set boundaries to having talks of him obsessing about his depression - it was wayyy more than reaching out. He called me, had not eaten today (and increasing problem), crying, telling me, "I need your help to live..." and then told me he had been planning out the location of his death, etc, etc. It was detailed.
This was the third call today, each worse and worse. First said he was fine, at peace, doesn't need help... and now in active crisis. He doesn't remember the earlier calls. As we spoke, my trying to figure out if I needed to do more than listen, a family member called. I let him go to talk to them. He did grab some food while we talked, at my request. He usually is in a crisis of some sort every Saturday, and so I either avoid his calls if I can't deal with it, but today, he was fine on the first call, I could handle it then... I don't know what I should do at the moment --- I'm not in the best headspace myself today. He has a doc and therapist. He's refusing to call them. But he's planning his death every Saturday and losing memory of doing it now... I gave him local crisis support numbers, but I have no expectation he will use them.
I'm at my limit of support I can give by listening. Not sure what to do. Don't want to lose my friend. I don't know if I should do something more than set a boundary and walk away, or if I should see if someone can check up on him or not.
He's elderly, losing weight, and has been depressed for some time. I set boundaries to having talks of him obsessing about his depression - it was wayyy more than reaching out. He called me, had not eaten today (and increasing problem), crying, telling me, "I need your help to live..." and then told me he had been planning out the location of his death, etc, etc. It was detailed.
This was the third call today, each worse and worse. First said he was fine, at peace, doesn't need help... and now in active crisis. He doesn't remember the earlier calls. As we spoke, my trying to figure out if I needed to do more than listen, a family member called. I let him go to talk to them. He did grab some food while we talked, at my request. He usually is in a crisis of some sort every Saturday, and so I either avoid his calls if I can't deal with it, but today, he was fine on the first call, I could handle it then... I don't know what I should do at the moment --- I'm not in the best headspace myself today. He has a doc and therapist. He's refusing to call them. But he's planning his death every Saturday and losing memory of doing it now... I gave him local crisis support numbers, but I have no expectation he will use them.
I'm at my limit of support I can give by listening. Not sure what to do. Don't want to lose my friend. I don't know if I should do something more than set a boundary and walk away, or if I should see if someone can check up on him or not.
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