Friendships Waning, Losing Everyone Again

I hate this feeling. I just got snapped at by one of my friends at school. I was doing some work which involves putting up posters and taking pictures of people within our college program (for the posters) I had asked them several times which person on the poster they'd like to be and two days ago they had responded that they would be on the poster but they didn't know where and today when I tried to talk to them about it they snapped at me saying they already told me they didn't want to be on it.

I already have been having a bad PTSD day so maybe it's just me being oversensitive but it really really hurt. I feel like I've been excessively annoying and it only validates the feeling I've had of our friendship is over or drawing to a close. It's just... I know I shouldn't care friendships come and go but it hurts. Knowing that these people that became a part of my support group no longer really care and that I'm a burden to them. It just.. hurts.

I also know that they're both going through their own things but I don't know... to be snapped at so harshly and discarded and the normal "friendly bullying" we do now feels like it's gotten malicious I just... I don't know what to do or to say to fix this. or if I even can. I just... I hurt.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Yeah I've sorta put out a volunteer thing for my other friends it was just a lot for today I guess
That's great that you've done that. We'll done. Sometimes things in life don't go as planned. So we have to say to ourselves "right, that didn't work, so I'll try this instead, or that person upset me, I didn't expect that but I'll re-trace my steps and go back to my happy place of how I felt before that happened "
 
I lost all of my friends and my girlfriend in the course of a few hours today. I don't...i don't think I can stand losing everyone again
 

Friday

Moderator
Give it time.

If no one is dead, then there is still the ability to come back together, again.

Unless you mean they all died, (or you died, but as you’re typing this message, that’s unlikely). In which case you have my most profound condolences.

But if everyone is still breathing? Things may change, for awhile. Things may be hard, for awhile. But where there’s life? There’s possibility.
 
Give it time.

If no one is dead, then there is still the ability to come back together, again.

Unless you mean they all died, (or you died, but as you’re typing this message, that’s unlikely). In which case you have my most profound condolences.

But if everyone is still breathing? Things may change, for awhile. Things may be hard, for awhile. But where there’s life? There’s possibility.
i dont know im not good with people they're all still alive but I might as well be dead to them I cant communicate and I just no matter how much I try I f*ck everything up
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
could that be a damaged self-esteem talking?

there have been quite a few stages in my recovery where i pushed EVERYONE away in my psychotic drive to continue the familiar isolation i had known for my entire life. learning how turn around and make amends was a long, slow breakthrough in my recovery process. just wondering as i remind myself that every case is unique.

gentle support while you sort your own case.
 

Muttly

MyPTSD Pro
It can be really hard to maintain relationships when you are struggling. And it's easy to fall into the trap of believing the negative thoughts about yourself. Right *now* it feels like you've lost all your friends and can't communicate. But things can and will change. Try to be gentle with yourself and avoid falling into the trap of white/black thinking
 

Friday

Moderator
Is this person usually snappy?

Are they going through their own shit?

If so? It’s them. Not you.

If it’s you? Take a clear message; They do not want to be pestered.

That doesn’t mean they DO want anything else. It just means to stop asking. Their answer is “no”.

That doesn’t mean it’s the end of the friendship, unless it’s your way or the highway, it simply means “no”. Americans tend to have a hard time with “no”. Child abuse survivors an even harder time. If you’re either? Take the “no” as a statement of fact, or at least attempt to, rather than a personal insult/affront/ending.

Most Americans are shocked by people who tell them “no” who still want to be friends.

Most child abuse survivors shocked x10 / completely flummoxed by being denied anything, by people who still desire friendship/etc.

But “no”? Is a complete sentence. You don’t need to say “yes” or be agreed with, to be friends. In point of fact, real friendship? Usually includes as many no’s as yes’s. That’s part of what creates the friendship; understanding the limits and allowances of the other person.
 
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