Frustrated with myself and people

jch

Confident
I feel like I can't be myself ever. I'm too trusting, too emotional. It's like I either shut down completely to protect myself, or I open up. I want to be open and expresse myself and my feelings without someone seeing it as a target. I can't tell the difference in people when they are trying to be a friend, or to take advantage. Why do people have to be so horrible. I know there are good people out there. I should know better that when someone talks to me they usually want something. I'm trying to be calm, but everytime someone takes advantage of me my world view gets bleaker and bleaker. There are a very large amount of people online that have no problems lying for weeks just so at some point they can try to scam you out of money. I don't even have any! Then they use all the conventions that you had as an emotional weapon when they don't get what they want. It hurts so much. Whats the alternative, just be alone forever? Lonelyness hurts like hell too.if I do meet someone that is horrible, how do I know? I don't need help to be broken. I fall apart on my own. It makes me want to wrap this phone charger around my neck, and be done with it.
 

Chris-duck

MyPTSD Pro
Got a therapist? If so maybe contact them?

It sounds like there's often a lot of hopelessness in your posts, and I'm wondering what kinda stuff helps ease that? Cos you're right, some people take advantage, and some don't, there are ways to tell but it's something worth speaking to a therapist about. But in the meantime, what can you do to make things a wee bit easier?
 

Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
I have been taken advantage of many times recently. They start small, and work their way up to more and more. At some point, they go past your level or playing ground and you can see where they're in it for money or sex or something. Look for their willingness to help you instead of them always asking you for things. Ask for some small favor they'd be willing to do for you. Watch closely for for any negative reactions. Good luck.
 

jch

Confident
Got a therapist? If so maybe contact them?

It sounds like there's often a lot of hopelessness in your posts, and I'm wondering what kinda stuff helps ease that? Cos you're right, some people take advantage, and some don't, there are ways to tell but it's something worth speaking to a therapist about. But in the meantime, what can you do to make things a wee bit easier?
I've been exercising. That's been helping. Thanks

I have been taken advantage of many times recently. They start small, and work their way up to more and more. At some point, they go past your level or playing ground and you can see where they're in it for money or sex or something. Look for their willingness to help you instead of them always asking you for things. Ask for some small favor they'd be willing to do for you. Watch closely for for any negative reactions. Good luck.
That's pretty helpful. Makes sense. Thank you.
 

jch

Confident
I've been exercising. That's been helping. Thanks


That's pretty helpful. Makes sense. Thank you.
I've used your advice, and that really cleaned out my online "friends". It hurt, a lot, but now I know. It seems like if I can't see someone's face, and body language that I can't detect deception. I need to rethink how I am online. Thank you very much.
 

Whirlwind

MyPTSD Pro
I want to be open and expresse myself and my feelings without someone seeing it as a target.
I've/do struggle with this and I have come to realize I blanket people with the assumption they play by the same rules I do.

They don't.

I think most people operate by self interest and in some ways I am envious, I need to do better in that regard. And I am getting better.

I'm still woefully frustrated at humanity and feel let down more often than not. I've really changed my take though on life and finally internalizing my positives not to be based on others. I control my happiness for the most part. It was a difficult internal shift for me.

Practically I put parameters to pace myself with people, protect myself. I work very hard to listen to what people tell me as they often tell me exactly who they are if I pay attention. In the past I put a sugar coat on what they told me, spun it more positively etc. Looking back I realized every person I came to be hurt by....well, in each relationship early on I do remember red flags. These relationships came full circle.

I wanted friends/family in my life so much I just accepted relationships instead of evaluating whether they deserved my time. Asserting my own boundaries was tough, still a work in progress.

I don't mean to sound negative but I also learned that people stick in their groups, I was on my own mid teens and I was always told one could "make their family"...in my case it never stuck. Looking back I would have warned younger me to make family simply put. I don't really have the answer but perhaps if I had been more discriminating I would have made life long friends instead of sort of fit friends that never lasted.

In the meantime, glad you are exercising, it has layers of benefits. Animals are wonderful. Another thing I learned to do so hard at first but I challenged myself to do something out of the ordinary (for me) learn a skill etc. The focus it entailed and later the confidence that was built was/is immeasurable, it made for good "company". And now that part of my history is brightly colored by those personal achievements.

My experience for what its worth, hope something helps.

Whirlwind
 

jch

Confident
I've/do struggle with this and I have come to realize I blanket people with the assumption they play by the same rules I do.

They don't.

I think most people operate by self interest and in some ways I am envious, I need to do better in that regard. And I am getting better.

I'm still woefully frustrated at humanity and feel let down more often than not. I've really changed my take though on life and finally internalizing my positives not to be based on others. I control my happiness for the most part. It was a difficult internal shift for me.

Practically I put parameters to pace myself with people, protect myself. I work very hard to listen to what people tell me as they often tell me exactly who they are if I pay attention. In the past I put a sugar coat on what they told me, spun it more positively etc. Looking back I realized every person I came to be hurt by....well, in each relationship early on I do remember red flags. These relationships came full circle.

I wanted friends/family in my life so much I just accepted relationships instead of evaluating whether they deserved my time. Asserting my own boundaries was tough, still a work in progress.

I don't mean to sound negative but I also learned that people stick in their groups, I was on my own mid teens and I was always told one could "make their family"...in my case it never stuck. Looking back I would have warned younger me to make family simply put. I don't really have the answer but perhaps if I had been more discriminating I would have made life long friends instead of sort of fit friends that never lasted.

In the meantime, glad you are exercising, it has layers of benefits. Animals are wonderful. Another thing I learned to do so hard at first but I challenged myself to do something out of the ordinary (for me) learn a skill etc. The focus it entailed and later the confidence that was built was/is immeasurable, it made for good "company". And now that part of my history is brightly colored by those personal achievements.

My experience for what its worth, hope something helps.

Whirlwind
Thank you. I appreciate it. I think a hobby is a great. I hear you. I think it would do me good. I probably wouldn't dwell on things so much then. I've always struggled with being positive, but I'm trying. Thanks again.
 
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