HealingMama
MyPTSD Pro
So, this might be too controversial in which case it can be deleted or whatever as needed by mods.
I am trying to understand cultural beliefs and expectations and the interplay of gendered thinking when it comes to disagreements.
I kind of feel like BPD is diagnosed more in women because the behaviors can also look like reacting with anger to invalidation. And historically women are seen as having bad logic, bad reasoning, men know better, etc. Men think better and are smarter, women are hysterical. Even though men can act hysterical around sporting events.
I've never been diagnosed with BPD. I've never threatened suicide or self harm for attention. But I was definitely raised in an invalidating environment and as such, I am sensitive to invalidation now.
I often experience my partner as believing I'm stupid or crazy. I have read a lot about this dynamic and it seems very common for men that draw their own conclusions about an event and assume the alternative position is stupid or fallible or just crazy or she's on her period just bunker down and it will pass eventually lolz.
I guess I am wondering how to be taken seriously as a female talking to a male where we are interpreting a situation differently. Because so far I'm used to men defaulting to healing mama is stupid/crazy/hormonal rather than thinking well, there's more than one version of right. Let me respect this person as an equal partner by trying to understand their experience better.
I mean please feel free to be honest... Is that just a BPD thing for me to want that? Or is that the stress of never being seen and treated like a person who has sense and reason... And it's just convenient for society to see that and call it bpd? I mean not to be obnoxious but I was in gifted and AP classes, free ride to college, multiple terminal degrees. I was iq tested as a genius. I am NOT stupid. I passed my college Logic class. I have totally decent reasoning and critical thinking skills. So it is especially annoying to be on the receiving end of what feels like a sexist need to be superior.
Most of my bpdish behaviors like sending too many long texts or acting really angry all of a sudden happen when my spouse acts like I'm stupid/crazy for seeing things a certain way. Like... Is it not reasonable to expect your partner to make room for your perspective and try to understand it rather than writing it off?
How do you get a man to treat your mind and opinions as equally worthy as another man's?
I am trying to understand cultural beliefs and expectations and the interplay of gendered thinking when it comes to disagreements.
I kind of feel like BPD is diagnosed more in women because the behaviors can also look like reacting with anger to invalidation. And historically women are seen as having bad logic, bad reasoning, men know better, etc. Men think better and are smarter, women are hysterical. Even though men can act hysterical around sporting events.
I've never been diagnosed with BPD. I've never threatened suicide or self harm for attention. But I was definitely raised in an invalidating environment and as such, I am sensitive to invalidation now.
I often experience my partner as believing I'm stupid or crazy. I have read a lot about this dynamic and it seems very common for men that draw their own conclusions about an event and assume the alternative position is stupid or fallible or just crazy or she's on her period just bunker down and it will pass eventually lolz.
I guess I am wondering how to be taken seriously as a female talking to a male where we are interpreting a situation differently. Because so far I'm used to men defaulting to healing mama is stupid/crazy/hormonal rather than thinking well, there's more than one version of right. Let me respect this person as an equal partner by trying to understand their experience better.
I mean please feel free to be honest... Is that just a BPD thing for me to want that? Or is that the stress of never being seen and treated like a person who has sense and reason... And it's just convenient for society to see that and call it bpd? I mean not to be obnoxious but I was in gifted and AP classes, free ride to college, multiple terminal degrees. I was iq tested as a genius. I am NOT stupid. I passed my college Logic class. I have totally decent reasoning and critical thinking skills. So it is especially annoying to be on the receiving end of what feels like a sexist need to be superior.
Most of my bpdish behaviors like sending too many long texts or acting really angry all of a sudden happen when my spouse acts like I'm stupid/crazy for seeing things a certain way. Like... Is it not reasonable to expect your partner to make room for your perspective and try to understand it rather than writing it off?
How do you get a man to treat your mind and opinions as equally worthy as another man's?
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