SeekingAfrica
Sponsor
So here's the deal: I have a huge work deadline(after not having work for almost a year, so enoying it), bad back injury/issue and I was supposed to be giving visa documents yesterday, so I didn't really plan to celebrate New Year. I planned MANY things through January, plus trip home at the end of that month, and planned to spend New Year decluttering, taking bath, setting goals, reading, watching series and generally chilling out in bed. Preferably horizontal because my back is finally starting to slowly get better and I want to give it some extra rest. Maybe put some music on, do some yoga. The PLAN was going great, and considering how many plans accidentally fell in December and January, I was actually enjoying myself.
And then my roommate comes back like a hurricane of business, because she's coughing and has couple hours to cook, do laundry and get ready to go out for New Year celebration. The kitchen is in front of my room and I can hear everything, which I generally don't mind- except now. So that crazy/busy running around thing, which I also do sometimes, somehow got me anxious and now I can't snap out of it. And I was already a bit nervous about the fireworks(I know that once it passes New Year they will start everywhere in the city for hours so it doesn't matter where you are really). So now I had to put on headphones and cuddle under a blanket and it's still not calming me down.
I know this is rediculuous and stupid and it's probably strange that I'm not out celebrating....but I'm getting fully anxious now and all I want is for it to be a regular day. There will be party time and travel time and so on later for me. But between work and health issues I was actually needing some recouperating time and knowing everyone is out doing something just adds to that anxiety. And so now every noise- like the noise of cooking and cleaning dishes of my roommate- is setting me off. I just feel like I'm retreating in myself and it's turning from enjoying quiet self care day into hiding in bed time.....
Ugh! I am so frustrated with myself right now.
I want a memorable New Year celebrating with friends. I just need it to be at least a week from now so just sitting doesn't hurt my back. And also, I can't be the only person feeling this jumpy and set off by fireworks, right? I mean, I haven't been in war, but I don't know, it's just too intrusive sound somehow...
Does any of this make sense? I think I'm having an anxiety attack...
And then my roommate comes back like a hurricane of business, because she's coughing and has couple hours to cook, do laundry and get ready to go out for New Year celebration. The kitchen is in front of my room and I can hear everything, which I generally don't mind- except now. So that crazy/busy running around thing, which I also do sometimes, somehow got me anxious and now I can't snap out of it. And I was already a bit nervous about the fireworks(I know that once it passes New Year they will start everywhere in the city for hours so it doesn't matter where you are really). So now I had to put on headphones and cuddle under a blanket and it's still not calming me down.
I know this is rediculuous and stupid and it's probably strange that I'm not out celebrating....but I'm getting fully anxious now and all I want is for it to be a regular day. There will be party time and travel time and so on later for me. But between work and health issues I was actually needing some recouperating time and knowing everyone is out doing something just adds to that anxiety. And so now every noise- like the noise of cooking and cleaning dishes of my roommate- is setting me off. I just feel like I'm retreating in myself and it's turning from enjoying quiet self care day into hiding in bed time.....
Ugh! I am so frustrated with myself right now.
I want a memorable New Year celebrating with friends. I just need it to be at least a week from now so just sitting doesn't hurt my back. And also, I can't be the only person feeling this jumpy and set off by fireworks, right? I mean, I haven't been in war, but I don't know, it's just too intrusive sound somehow...
Does any of this make sense? I think I'm having an anxiety attack...