I have 32yrs in AA. When I got sober, I was in darkness. My world felt and looked like death. My sponsor (AA mentor) had a horrific trauma, he would often share at meetings. This was not a popular thing to do, but it was tolerated. When he would share his trauma, It would literally pull me out the darkness into the light. My dream in AA was to come out of the world of trauma and into the safe world where other people lived (the mainstream AA people). I have achieved that. Although I feel constant anxiety, emotional pain and grief, my world is not darkness. I am so grateful.