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Getting stuck on stuck points

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Still Standing

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Not sure where I should post this. I am staring at my worksheet again. This time it is listing stuck points. We have addressed a couple in therapy, so far. But, when I look at the few on my list, they all look to be repetitive in various forms, which we already addressed. There are a couple others that are so "heavy" that they make me anxious in the pit of my stomach. Not sure that they can be addressed yet. So, I have been trying to list more stuck points and am getting nowhere. It is so frustrating when I can't think! At the same time, there is an undercurrent attitude of, "I really don't care anymore." I suppose that is also a stuck point? I could add a typical one like: "I'm always fat and ugly"...that ought to be a good one! Not. I hate it when my brain shuts down on me. What are examples of some stuck points? I promise I will not use any unless it personally applies. I need a jump start. I don't want to stare at this sheet for the full weekend...which I have done before. I need therapy for getting stuck on the stuck points!
 
Breathe :).

Stuck points for me are images or thoughts I can't get out of my head. I know they don't belong there...But I'm stuck thinking about them.

Like....I deserved what happened .... I am to blame ..I should have gone down this road and not that one etc...I am day and lazy..blah blah

My T tried to have me do those worksheets and I failed miserably. I can only identify stuck points when I'm talking about them and she points them out. And those heavy ones? Yep . Have to talk them out.

Let her know the sheets aren't working for you. It's not that big of a deal...they are just a tool out of the toolbox.
 
...Hmmmmm...I think I like the "Blah, blah, one best, Freida. ;). I AM to blame...hadn't thought of that one. Maybe I just need to resort to the "fat and ugly" one. It should be a no brainer! :rolleyes: Seriously, thanks. All kidding aside, the few you mentioned really did help to push me in a more clear direction. I will give these dumb things another try and see what will bubble to the surface. And, yeh, I know, the hard ones need to be addressed but they threaten to take me down and I don't want to cry. You know...its a control thing... I panicked and dissociated over last week's offering. Not sure I can take another hard one so quickly. I'm not sure I am forthright enough to tell my T that I can't do these. It is that "want to please" thing that gets in the way. It's supposed to snow and drop up to 12 inches tomorrow night. If the worksheets still give me grief, I can use them to start a fire with, in the fireplace. May as well get some good use out of them! :p
 
I can use them to start a fire with, in the fireplace. May as well get some good use out of them!
LOL -- recycling!

And, yeh, I know, the hard ones need to be addressed but they threaten to take me down and I don't want to cry. You know...its a control thing..

Baby steps (the most annoying piece of advice ever!) You don't have to jump to the big ones. Take baby steps and practice on the little ones - that's how you learn the coping techniques to move forward without losing your mind. And yea...suck it up buttercup - If I have to eventually learn to cry (eventually - I ain't doing it now!) so does everyone else. :);) :hug:
 
:laugh: LOL, too! "Buttercup" here, is glad to know she is in your "no-cry" club. Thanks for the wonderful chuckle! Now to face a stuck point....
 
Freida, I was given a bit of a reprieve with the worksheets!!!!! Now I get to simply list a stuck point and rephrase it to a more balanced way of thinking, skipping all the detailed questions on the worksheet. I was able to do half of the stuck points listed. However, the rest of them wage instant war in my head and heart and now the fear :nailbiting: is really mounting knowing that they have to be addressed. The remaining ones I truly believe to be true. To counter them now has me swimming in anxiety. I'm gonna 'run away'. I'm gonna grab the pooch, get a drink (matcha tea) and drive for a few hours. How does one face deep, hurtful, junk? :banghead: Ugh! It may be time to allow the tears to flow...somewhere where no one will see me. My eyes are desperately trying to hold back the dam. What a sight that would be...granny, sitting in her car, bawling her head off, with the pup sitting in the car like nothing is wrong. If I go park in a cemetery, I could cry my heart out and no one will disturb me, I guess. They would just think I am crying over someone who died, which would be somewhat appropriate because, in a sense, part of me is dying. ~sigh~ Sometimes this stuff seems way too hard to keep facing on a daily basis. Today is one of those days. Why is it I can have hope for someone else and encourage them but for myself, it is a total bust? Who thought up "stuck points" anyway? :O_o:
 
Yeah! reprieve!!! Stupid worksheets....

It may be time to allow the tears to flow...somewhere where no one will see me. My eyes are desperately trying to hold back the dam

Stop trying. It's OK to cry. My guru once sent me to the beach with instructions to just scream my head off. I didn't want to because I was afraid to be overheard and embarrassed. But when I went it was in the middle of a huge winter storm - no one could hear a freight train over the wind so my screaming wasn't a big deal. And I did feel better afterwards. Think of it like a pressure cooker -- you need that release or you will blow up

Sometimes this stuff seems way too hard to keep facing on a daily basis. Today is one of those days.
I'm sorry.... I hate those kind of days. Baby steps -- they all don't have to be dealt with today. Pick a little one and practice dealing with it .....the big ones can wait

How does one face deep, hurtful, junk?

With a lot of help and support. Pretty much all I can offer because I'm still trying to figure it out. So if you get there first let me know!

Why is it I can have hope for someone else and encourage them but for myself, it is a total bust?

Yea, bout that! Because its always easier to see it when you aren't in the middle of it. I do the same thing --- say to others what I should be saying to myself. Someday I'll get it -- I hope
 
You make it harder to hold back the blasted tears!!!! :cry: I'm finally dressed, took out the garbage, and now I am going to get in the car and drive and drive. I am "free" when I am in the car, in that it is just me, no one else. There is no storm happening here nor beach to do some screaming at. To haul off and scream would get stuck in my throat. I think screaming and crying lessons are in order... I will try to go whimper a bit and see what happens. The ol' heart hurts badly today. As far as support, this forum and my T, and hubby (sorta), are the only support I have. But, if there is suddenly a bright light that pings me on the head and shows me the end game to all this, I will certainly let you know! It would be nice to hit the finish line in tandem with you and other co-journeymen/women of this PTSD pile of...well...you-know-what! :meh:
 
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