Getting The Courage To Start A Diary

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Well I am trying to summon up the strength to be able to start a diary on here. I really want to but every time I go onto that section and read other people's stuff and then the layout of the diary (how you're supposed to start with the worst thing) is just making me freeze up. Maybe it's too soon. There's a lot to process. I just don't see how it can all be done sometimes. There are so many strong people on here and that gives me a glimmer of hope at least.
I feel you sassy. I have a journal on MSWord right now that while I don't have feedback, it does help me get some things out.
I want to start a diary as well but I am under the understanding (possibly incorrect) that we need 100 posts to do that? I'm not sure on that one... hopefully someone chimes in that knows.
Hi Sassyfras and Painx2,

In regard to diaries, a member can start one at anytime. The 100 posts is the requirement for a blog.

Diaries are a personal choice and there isn't any time frame or specific format concerning them. When you are ready, writing down your traumas and then re-reading them has been helpful for some of the members. It isn't anything you should force and only you will know when you are ready.

I use my diary for a lot of purposes. One is dealing with past traumas, recording how I am thinking on a particular day, to organize my scrambled thoughts, etc.

Hope this helps.

It is extremely hard to start a diary and hard to re-read it as well. It felt good to get it out the first time and I wanted to just keep moving forward, it is tough to do but in the long run it is a tremendous help. You will never be ready to share your trauma's and there is no good time just have good coping skills. It does get worse before it gets better.
Thanks, I will try sometime in the near future hopefully before my next therapy session, but maybe not. I've only been in therapy a little over a month, so I'm thinking maybe I should ask her if that's something healthy to do. I've been trying to push things too fast in a few other ways recently that have left me feeling worse than before. The only time I really feel okay is after I've "processed" some of the trauma in my head, or at least that's what I think it is I'm doing when I just let it all out and cry and scream for a while.
Hello sassyfras

Good questions, relevant to topic. Anthony has a “trauma stress-meter”, think it says feeling 7 (or maybe 8) on a scale of 10 is “good exposure” and justifies a break. Taking a break can be useful. Admire your enthusiasm. :smile:

For me diary is like a block of granite. At first the hammer and chisel felt awkward in my hands. :think: I began chipping away. Wish I’d done worst trauma first - somehow “forgot” that trauma. My avoidance seems deeply ingrained. Now I’ll go back and chip away some more, as hammer and chisel settles into my grip, a sculpture (My Healing) begins to take shape. May take several drafts - my PTSD is complex, an unfortunate fact.:eek: Forgotten memories surface. My perspective matures, changes for the better. And so it goes. My advice? When you feel it sassyfras, pick up your hammer, your chisel - banish stigma and shame - and give it hell. :thumbs-up With that said:

"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed”.
- Hemingway

Wishing you (and everyone) much strength on your path to a better life.
James B.
Thank you James! I have started reading through some other members diaries, not too much though it gets overwhelming I can feel it in my brain lol. I guess I will probably start in small chunks at a time? My question is, really, how in the world do you determine which trauma was the worst one? They feel all jumbled together sometimes. Each one is painful in their own way, but at the same time I really can't remember everything to determine anything it feels like. Maybe a timeline would be easier? Then after I have my timeline, figure out which one was the most painful and hardest to recall and go from there?

I wish I didn't feel so uncertain with EVERYTHING! Ah. I was able to move out of my bed and have now made a fortress for the rest of the day in the living room. I wish I wasn't so agoraphobic.
Good questions, relevant to topic. Anthony has a “trauma stress-meter”, think it says feeling 7 (or maybe 8) on a scale of 10 is “good exposure” and justifies a break.
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed”.
- Hemingway

Hi James B - I've been searching for Anthony's "trauma stress-meter" topic and haven't found it, would like more information. I still have not got the courage to expose my trauma ... just thinking and\or writing that gives me the willies ... so I'm just preparing myself to do the jump as I feel safe on this forum
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