Relationship Girlfriend has ptsd


New Here
She hasn't worked since August. We dont live together but I'm keeping her from getting kicked out on the streets, although we are barely scraping by with my paycheck. She gets frustrated that she doesn't have a job but I noticed that she doesn't put in a lot of effort or follow through. It's like her mind can only focus on one thing at a time.

She has trauma from recently breaking up with her abuser, almost getting sexually assaulted by some guy on the street and her child's father (that she also grew up with) dying as well.

There's a lot of stress and pressure on us but I know to never point the finger at her or her ptsd. But I need someone to give me the rules to this. How do I approach her about things? Do I avoid arguments and if so what else do I avoid?
She and I were friends for a couple of years before we started dating.

She says I'm her rock/best friend and that makes sense because when her anxiety gets real bad I say, "Everything's ok. Everything's alright. You're safe." And it does make her feel better but some articles I've read said not to say things like that, unless I took whatever they were saying out of context.

I want to help her the healthiest way possible. But her emotions are a roller coaster and it's hard to tell moment to moment. I learned that we can kiss and hug with no issues (as long as we aren't sitting on her bed) and I can hold her (as long as it isn't in her bedroom) She says she still has trauma from the attempted assault so we haven't had sex yet but she's ok to do with what i mentioned above and she tells me that she feels safe with me but not safe ENOUGH yet. Can someone explain this to me?

Thank you in advance!


I mean, you can't avoid arguing in a relationship. That's an impossibility.

Reading this, I wonder what you're getting from this relationship?
How long have you been together?

Sounds like you are her sole financial support? I can understand why you feel that is your responsibility, but it really isn't. She's a parent? If she is unwell with the PTSD and unable to work, then can she apply for be edits? (Not sure where you are in the world).

What is your limit for providing financially?

What does she need to feel safe enough with you sexually?
She may not know that. But has she explored that in her therapy?