Feelinghelpless
New Here
Hello all,
Im grateful that there is a forum like this and thank you in advance for sharing any advice.
My girlfriend was attacked a few years ago by who we believe was her ex. She survived. At the time we were not together yet have been back together a few years until a few months ago where she pushed me away. She asked that I move away for a while until she finishes volatile child support and custody with her ex. She is now more and more distant. We have not spoken in 2 weeks. She believes she’s in danger and maybe myself and our kids. We both have kids. Her ex does not like me on top of trying to make her miserable. Mine kids have moved away. I testified against her ex recently and she got a permanent restraining order. I am not afraid of him. It’s time to fight back. But she does not feel safe with us being a couple. I saw her a couple weeks ago and I could feel love but she is terrified to be with me so I did no more than hug her. Again I can feel her love for me. Just a week before, she told me to date if I want to etc which I did not like to hear and pushed me away said we’d never work as long as he was alive . Maybe she is going back to an old boyfriend that she doesn’t love but may be considered more safe? Could she do that when I am the love of her life?
i purposely do not ask anything of her or even text her. I had one argument about not even getting a Christmas card and I have given she and her kids gifts out of love. I don’t expect much but just a card. I know she is afraid of her ex and for valid reason. I even moved away to give her space for safety but I had no idea I wouldn’t be in her life. She had told me that I’m the love of her life and I know I am or was... can it change in a few months? but the lack of communication and the pushing me away does not make me feel loved or wanted. I honestly never ask anything of her or have ever asked anything of her. I don’t want to date anyone else. If I had assurances from her about our future I’d seriously just focus on me. I am doing that anyway but should I expect assurances? I feel I can only give her space but for how long? It’s been 4 months? I do not think she will feel safe until maybe her ex either leaves her alone and moves away for good or is implicated and jailed in her attempted murder. Her court cases could take a few to 6 months? A year? I don’t know? She’s pushed me away in the past and I really love her. Her ex is trying to keep us apart and I am not wanting to allow him to do that as I believe love does conquer all. When he appeared out of the picture, we were so good. So happy. But now he is attacking her legally and through her kids and it’s making her feel numb and her health is not as good.
how long should I hang on? Any specific advice on whether I try to communicate with her? If I move on with my life and stop all communication I would like to think that she fears I might be gone for good.
what should I do?
Im grateful that there is a forum like this and thank you in advance for sharing any advice.
My girlfriend was attacked a few years ago by who we believe was her ex. She survived. At the time we were not together yet have been back together a few years until a few months ago where she pushed me away. She asked that I move away for a while until she finishes volatile child support and custody with her ex. She is now more and more distant. We have not spoken in 2 weeks. She believes she’s in danger and maybe myself and our kids. We both have kids. Her ex does not like me on top of trying to make her miserable. Mine kids have moved away. I testified against her ex recently and she got a permanent restraining order. I am not afraid of him. It’s time to fight back. But she does not feel safe with us being a couple. I saw her a couple weeks ago and I could feel love but she is terrified to be with me so I did no more than hug her. Again I can feel her love for me. Just a week before, she told me to date if I want to etc which I did not like to hear and pushed me away said we’d never work as long as he was alive . Maybe she is going back to an old boyfriend that she doesn’t love but may be considered more safe? Could she do that when I am the love of her life?
i purposely do not ask anything of her or even text her. I had one argument about not even getting a Christmas card and I have given she and her kids gifts out of love. I don’t expect much but just a card. I know she is afraid of her ex and for valid reason. I even moved away to give her space for safety but I had no idea I wouldn’t be in her life. She had told me that I’m the love of her life and I know I am or was... can it change in a few months? but the lack of communication and the pushing me away does not make me feel loved or wanted. I honestly never ask anything of her or have ever asked anything of her. I don’t want to date anyone else. If I had assurances from her about our future I’d seriously just focus on me. I am doing that anyway but should I expect assurances? I feel I can only give her space but for how long? It’s been 4 months? I do not think she will feel safe until maybe her ex either leaves her alone and moves away for good or is implicated and jailed in her attempted murder. Her court cases could take a few to 6 months? A year? I don’t know? She’s pushed me away in the past and I really love her. Her ex is trying to keep us apart and I am not wanting to allow him to do that as I believe love does conquer all. When he appeared out of the picture, we were so good. So happy. But now he is attacking her legally and through her kids and it’s making her feel numb and her health is not as good.
how long should I hang on? Any specific advice on whether I try to communicate with her? If I move on with my life and stop all communication I would like to think that she fears I might be gone for good.
what should I do?
