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going to places where you were traumatised

#2
I have had to go to places where my trauma occurred and I have hated it. I have been scared, unhappy, nervous and honestly just wanted to leave constantly. I was so relieved when I could go. I was so relieved I didn't see anyone that would trigger me.

I don't really think there is a lot to be gained from revisiting places where trauma happened for me. It isn't like a phobia situation. But that's just me.
 
#3
Yep.

Because failing that? I end up with the world stopping South of Texas & East of Italy. Seriously. My mental map just completely erased Latin America & Eastern Europe. As well as smaller regions like countries, states/provinces, & whole cities.

At the time I figured ‘It’s a big f*cking world. I have neither need nor desire to ever go there again, so WTFO. Finis. Done.’

10 years later? That changed. I did need, not want but need, to go... and I couldn’t. Procrastinated so long on doing so, tried every other 2nd or 42nd best option first... that I lost the opportunity.

In the interim I’d un-avoided other regions... reclaimed cities, states, countries.. HUGELY to my benefit. So I’d actually been planning on doing ‘fun’ (desensitizing / real-making) visits to those places, too. But I ran out of time. And when the moment came to leap -I had outs/escapes in 2 different places- I was too much of a f*cking pansy to do it. Which makes everything that followed? My fault. I could have saved us, and I didn’t. Because I was too much of a whiny scared f*cking baby to just push through.

So the places I have reclaimed? f*cking awesome.
The places I chose not to? I profoundly regret.
 
#4
I was feeling particularly Uhm self injurious (?) and went to the place of my CSA and then I texted people a picture of it along with the caption "this is where I died". Ok yes it was a tad dramatic but at the time I wanted to do something that would mentally push me over the edge and I knew going there would have the biggest chance of anything of doing so.

Did it do anything positive? I think so. I don't think I fear that location so much anymore.

(It didn't push me over the edge.)
 
#5
Went back to Germany last year -- we were on a train when we crossed from France to Germany and hubby said I immediately tensed up with the architecture changed. I was super hypervigelant the whole time we were there and my symptoms were ramped up.

Was it worth it? Meh. I didn't think it would hit me that hard and I had been looking at jobs there so I'm glad I went. Will I turn down a job there? I'm not sure but probably not. Did it benefit me to face it? A bit

Texas? I'll never step foot in again. But to be fair I didn't like it there before the trauma so it's not that big of a thing.
 
Thread starter #6
Yep.

Because failing that? I end up with the world stopping South of Texas & East of Italy. Seriously. My mental map just completely erased Latin America & Eastern Europe. As well as smaller regions like countries, states/provinces, & whole cities.

At the time I figured ‘It’s a big f*cking world. I have neither need nor desire to ever go there again, so WTFO. Finis. Done.’

10 years later? That changed. I did need, not want but need, to go... and I couldn’t. Procrastinated so long on doing so, tried every other 2nd or 42nd best option first... that I lost the opportunity.

In the interim I’d un-avoided other regions... reclaimed cities, states, countries.. HUGELY to my benefit. So I’d actually been planning on doing ‘fun’ (desensitizing / real-making) visits to those places, too. But I ran out of time. And when the moment came to leap -I had outs/escapes in 2 different places- I was too much of a f*cking pansy to do it. Which makes everything that followed? My fault. I could have saved us, and I didn’t. Because I was too much of a whiny scared f*cking baby to just push through.

So the places I have reclaimed? f*cking awesome.
The places I chose not to? I profoundly regret.
ha ha i am glad my
I have had to go to places where my trauma occurred and I have hated it. I have been scared, unhappy, nervous and honestly just wanted to leave constantly. I was so relieved when I could go. I was so relieved I didn't see anyone that would trigger me.

I don't really think there is a lot to be gained from revisiting places where trauma happened for me. It isn't like a phobia situation. But that's just me.
i gues it has to be done for the right reasons
 
Thread starter #7
Yep.

Because failing that? I end up with the world stopping South of Texas & East of Italy. Seriously. My mental map just completely erased Latin America & Eastern Europe. As well as smaller regions like countries, states/provinces, & whole cities.

At the time I figured ‘It’s a big f*cking world. I have neither need nor desire to ever go there again, so WTFO. Finis. Done.’

10 years later? That changed. I did need, not want but need, to go... and I couldn’t. Procrastinated so long on doing so, tried every other 2nd or 42nd best option first... that I lost the opportunity.

In the interim I’d un-avoided other regions... reclaimed cities, states, countries.. HUGELY to my benefit. So I’d actually been planning on doing ‘fun’ (desensitizing / real-making) visits to those places, too. But I ran out of time. And when the moment came to leap -I had outs/escapes in 2 different places- I was too much of a f*cking pansy to do it. Which makes everything that followed? My fault. I could have saved us, and I didn’t. Because I was too much of a whiny scared f*cking baby to just push through.

So the places I have reclaimed? f*cking awesome.
The places I chose not to? I profoundly regret.
wow thats a big trauma map lol. I understand what you meant about needing to go to some places..many places from my city of birth was popping up in my dreams the pull was mystical in nature. So this year I have have been travelling there...fortunatly just a train ride down the road not costa rica ;-). Systematically been visiting these places. Did some writing when I was there. Had just got back last night from my most recent trip and was feeling like i had been hit by a train so it brought on all these doubts wondering if i was just stressing my self out with all this. But it opened me up a lot emotionally and that can be exhausting at first. I beleive now it was the natural thing for me to do. I feel like i have created a new landscape back there now which is not so fear based any more..I think the needing to go to those places was a way of trying to work out what had happened to me there which i was confused about and was avoiding.
 
Thread starter #9
Only when I am feeling strong enough. And always with the mindful intention to go only so far as it feels like I am not pushing myself back into the trauma. Even if that means sitting outside in my car.
yes you have to approach it carefully ..i had to go to some places more than once and get a little closer each time...and i planned to have cut off points and plan something nice to go and do afterwards
 
#10
Going to, yes.

Being dragged to, no. But I figure that follows, new trauma on top of the older ones and all.

Currently, not useful. I am trying for basic functioning kept and building some distance, and since I have zero useful chemistry to help me out there and bordering on destabilizing therapy, that exposure will have to wait. I am trying for mental/emotional exercises involving places that are farther away. So far it is still too close to playing with a death wish, and not an actual exposure minimizing things, but, well, at least keeps me semi aware there are things to work through instead of cave in.
 

katz

MyPTSD Pro
#11
Has anyone found any value in going to places were they was traumatised to experience memorys/ emotions e.t.c... I have been giving it a go have been getting some insights....still not sure if its just upesetting my self though.
Thank you for starting this thread. I have often wondered if anyone else did this, or had tried it for that matter. Any one that has heard that I have gone back has told me that I shouldn't. So, I only go when I'm alone.

In the beginning, I went so I could convince myself that something had happened. The strong feelings were so intense that I knew without a question that something had happened. Even if I didn't remember the terrible details.

Now, I go back to mourn. As the years have gone by, I find that I need to go far less often. Every time I go, I ask myself how I am feeling and if I need to ever return. I have a few places that I will never need to go back to. I feel that I have cried every thing out, that I had at that time. I may remember more and need to go back, but for now I can move on to try and heal myself. I usually only remember a lot of feelings, but I can cry them out and then I can go on. (I think it is like mourning for a pet after they pass, and I consider that healthy--for me)

I decided that what works for me may not work for anyone else, and it has always been just one of those things that I do for myself only. I hope this helps someone else who is in need of … reassurance that you're not alone in wanting to do this.
 
#12
Going to places you were traumatised is pretty good in terms of exposure therapy, if you're the one making the decision to go, and how long you go for- facing the places in a way that you control helps significantly. i'd advise you to be careful, though, ad don't spend too long lingering at any of the places unless you feel like you ABSOLUTELY can- staying too long can upset you pretty significantly, and that's never fun.
 
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