Widow_of_one
MyPTSD Pro
I started having intense flashbacks about 2 years ago and I have been aware of the pain I have had to endure great emotional pain by seeing (for the first time) what really happened to me as a child. Seeing my beloved grandmother as an enabler (aka accessory) and my moms’ youngest brother as my grandfather’s “little helper” has been some extreme lows I wouldn’t wish in anyone! Today it dawned on me that 3 weeks ago today I was listening to music and I felt as I did my year abroad: alive, happy, smart, - eureka! Those positive feelings had nothing to do with the boy I left behind but rather this is how I felt when I was myself (ie fat fat far away from my family)! So there is good in flashbacks and bad.
Also, I’ve been noticing that I feel clearer inside of my head. And at times I am actually happy! Just wanted to mention this because I know that at times healing bums me out! Also I’ve realized that I am putting the brakes on my recovery!
Also, I’ve been noticing that I feel clearer inside of my head. And at times I am actually happy! Just wanted to mention this because I know that at times healing bums me out! Also I’ve realized that I am putting the brakes on my recovery!