Good Dreams

[jaylee21570]

Hello - I was abused as a child by my father's girlfriend who was really the only mother I ever had until my father passed away when I was 16 years old. I now have dreams a few times per week about this woman but she is always sweet or I am always consoling her as she is upset about something. I never dream about how she beat me when I was a child or any of the horrific things I went through. It's always a feel good dream that when awake leaves me confused and a little angry. I don't want to dream about her and I especially don't want to have sweet dreams about her when she was truly a monster. Am I all alone in this?

 

[whiteraven]

Hi @jaylee21570 - I don't think this is uncommon. Personally? I very, very seldom have bad dreams about anything, but esp. about those who harmed me. I'm glad about that. It allows me a place that feels safe, when being awake often doesn't. Nobody truly understands the mechanism of dreams, but honestly? I would rather have unrealistic dreams about someone than be subjected to the abuse all over again, night after night!

 

[jaylee21570]

Hi @jaylee21570 - I don't think this is uncommon. Personally? I very, very seldom have bad dreams about anything, but esp. about those who harmed me. I'm glad about that. It allows me a place that feels safe, when being awake often doesn't. Nobody truly understands the mechanism of dreams, but honestly? I would rather have unrealistic dreams about someone than be subjected to the abuse all over again, night after night!

Thank you for your reply. That is definitely one way to look at it.

 

[Charbella]

Hello - I was abused as a child by my father's girlfriend who was really the only mother I ever had until my father passed away when I was 16 years old. I now have dreams a few times per week about this woman but she is always sweet or I am always consoling her as she is upset about something. I never dream about how she beat me when I was a child or any of the horrific things I went through. It's always a feel good dream that when awake leaves me confused and a little angry. I don't want to dream about her and I especially don't want to have sweet dreams about her when she was truly a monster. Am I all alone in this?

I don’t dream much but I think it would be hard to have those kinds of dreams. Very confusing to the psyche to see someone they way you wish they were night after night as a dream, the reality being much different.

Maybe talk to your therapist and see if they have suggestions for unwrapping it?

 

[arfie]

hello jaylee. welcome to the forum.

sweet dreams about nasty people is new on my own experience, but i find myself wondering if you are a natural optimist who sees the best in everybody. could it be your own dream style to smooth the rough edges in life by dreaming of the people they **could** have been without the mental illness which turned them nasty? just wondering while i sigh over the potentials of such a gift.

dunno. . . i mostly wanted to welcome you aboard.

 

[jaylee21570]

I don’t dream much but I think it would be hard to have those kinds of dreams. Very confusing to the psyche to see someone they way you wish they were night after night as a dream, the reality being much different.

Maybe talk to your therapist and see if they have suggestions for unwrapping it?

Therapy is too expensive.