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Goodbye Everyone

  • Thread starter Deleted member 29311
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Deleted member 29311

Alright so I've been on this site for a while (about a year) and I've decided websites like this one no longer serve a purpose to ME any more.

I do have friends here so in case you're wondering where I've gone, this will explain everything.

I've come to the realization that I don't enjoy spending time talking to people online because things get misinterpreted too easily. This leads to people acting out and things being said in a rude way and it bothers me. I've met a lot of great people who've given some good advice although it's time I start paying less attention to the online world and more attention to real life, to the people who are actually there for me. Talking to strangers online ''ungrounds'' me, throws me off emotionally and stresses me out.

@GrayOwl and @ladee if you're reading this you guys are awesome people (I know I'm forgetting a couple others) even though we've never met in person and I wish you guys the best, from the bottom of my heart.

I have a problem with websites that are very public, which is why I don't use social media. I don't own Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Instgram, etc. accounts because I think public forums and public chatting is destructive in the end, because you open yourself up to too many people who don't understand you or too many rude, cold people. Public forums and social media in general are zoos and free for alls with harmful effects. A part of me regrets ever opening up to strangers online because none of you deserve to know anything about me. I wish I could delete my account and everything related to it although this website doesn't allow this for selfish reasons.

Once this thread's posted I'm logging out and never coming back, so I won't see any replies nor get any notifications for anything related to this site any more, so don't waste your breath.

I think its good that they're taking care of themselves. If they actually do as they say, and don't come back, it is probably the best thing for them if they feel worse. Well done to them, to be honest.

I don't like to read the spiteful little comments on such posts, which are a little contradictory to what they don't like themselves... but each to their own. People are people, and hypocrisy is hypocrisy.
I read through many of CMan's posts and the responses. The replies were all open sharing and engaging with care and respect. Drama and not taking responsibility. Kicking a dog CMan is a personal responsibility.
... none of you deserve to know anything about me.

"Deserve?" That's not cool.

I wish @CMan the best, and I hope he finds offline support that he doesn't affect him in the ways he describes online support does.

It seems obvious that CMan was upset. I "heard" what he said and I do understand that it is hard to put yourself out there and share. I understand that he may be feeling criticized or rejected, whether it seems "reasonable" to us or not. I have felt the same with less provocation because of my sometimes hypervigilance and paranoia. I accept that he does feels how he feels and that his feelings are real are valid. I also have said things in anger myself that were unnecessary.

But, this is a place where vulnerable people seek support, and as one of them I respectfully, gently, but assertively have to say that a general blanket statement that includes me and tells me as part of a whole group what I do and do not "deserve" is a judgment that I reject CMan has a right to make. I also reject the idea the thing that I don't "deserve" is be knowledge about him and something I either "deserve" or don't based on how he feels he is responded to.

I'm not angry, upset or taking it personally, but I also won't just let that stand - I was included in his generalization.

His behavior is the thing he's describing, and what I don't deserve is THAT, says me -- the ONLY person who's allowed to decide that for me.

That strikes right at a raw nerve. "You don't deserve what I give you" and "you don't deserve me" is something abusers say. I'm not saying the CMan was being abusive, but I am saying that this is a PTSD forum, and some people have PTSD from situations where they heard this kind of thing frequently and PTSD affects self-worth anyway. I'm not convinced he intended the "deserve" statement the way he wrote it, but he's not available to claify AND there are victims of abuse here that will sound uncomfotablly familiar to. I can accept that he didn't intend it that way. It's still exactly what he wrote and that has consequences for others.

This crosses a personal boundary for me, and I have not worked as hard as I have to get to the point where I have and can enforce my boundaries (with the help and support of people here!!) for me to not say so.

I was not involved at all in the post that seems to have been the catalyst for this and that CMan requested be taken down about an hour before his sign off yesterday. I'm just unwilling to let that stand without commenting and feel less safe and diminished in THIS place.

I wish CMan well with all my heart.

As a side note: much respect to the supporters I have in my life for navigating between empathy, compassion, patience, acceptance, and forgiveness of my frequently less-than-perfect behavior while balancing their own personal boundaries.
Agreed-------"deserve" in this context is snarky, hence why I said he sounds mad.

Not sure if he was mad in part because of my comment on his other thread (where he posted a link to his girlfriends blog------yes, I read the whole thing and she was writing about what it was like to have PTSD-----but she doesn't have PTSD, only sees things from the outside), that's like me speaking as to what it's like to be a cancer survivor. I have no right to say what it's like for cancer survivors being someone who has never had cancer.

Sort of why I dislike blogs. Many aren't factual and solely experientially/emotionally based. But, people do a google search, stumble upon a blog, and take it all in like its gospel, 100% factual, etc.

People speaking for me, speaking as a survivor when they have no idea-----makes me bristle.

And that is why I said what I did.

I hope he gets help given his current state.
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