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Grandmother intentionally triggering me.

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StrongMind

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Hello, I am new to this forum. I was stabbed when I was 17 and almost lost my life. Tapping, metal clanging, and anything loud banging triggers me. I know my grandma trys hypnosis and also triggers me at the same time. I'm 20 now and she has been doing this since I was 18 but now shes trying even harder. Whenever I address it she acts like she has no clue what im talking about but me and everyone else in my family knows exactly what shes doing. Whenever I disagree with anything she believes or says I should do she will start tapping and trying hypnosis techniques like changing her tone of voice and then saying somethinng totally suggestive, whenever she notices me resisting she goes even harder! It is reallying annoying at this point and I don't know what to do. I feel like I HAVE to work towards something constantly in life and I feel doomed if I don't keep my mind busy. I feel like that stems from the PTSD. So that and a combonation of my grandmother and the fact that I have trouble living my life (making friends, going for a simple walk, starting conversation) is getting very overwhelming. I went to a therapist once but I can not afford it all the time. I need help because I feel myslef getting worse. Can anyone else relate or give me any advice? Thank you :)
 
While I think your grandmother is being a shit. You also need to learn how to deal with your triggers. Avoiding them doesn’t work for very long. There is a lot of great reading here and wonderful tips that you can learn on how to ground yourself, how to place boundaries, how to protect yourself, and I strongly suggest that you try and find a therapist. Possibly one on a sliding scale?????
 
Hypnosis. Bleh!

I was routinely hypnotised as part of my trauma, and it remains one of my major triggers. There's a tone of voice people use, which you'll also find in relaxation sessions and sometimes even a darn yoga class. It's the tone and type of language being used that sets off my flight response.

And that's potentially a good response with Gran. Because throwing in a bit of hypnosis into the conversation is seriously uncool. So if she starts on it, perhaps just leave the room. It's manipulatove behaviour, and while it may just make the situation more stressful for you to raise it with her, that doesn't mean you have to sit there and tolerate it.

Dealing with noises, particularly metal noises, would probably benefit from some planned exposure work, because there's always going to be those noises around. The hypnosis thing, though, is probably rare enough not to warrant exposure therapy, and simply walking out of the room may make you feel a bit more in control.
 
She needs to stop and never start.

And not pretend that's any 'therapeutic hypnosis' for it isn't.
She's manipulating you, abusing you, and gaslighting you by pretending she has no idea what she's doing and it's 'for your own good'. No, it isn't, and you don't need that kind of bullshit from a charlatan.
 
@StrongMind, that is obviously so wrong. I would guess that she is either delusional
about her abilities as a quasi family therapist, or worse, she's deliberately triggering you
as a method of control.

Can you live elsewhere? I know that when I finally found out I had PTSD after years of
searching for an answer, and starting EMDR treatment right away with good results, my
former husband would query me about what my triggers were and then later used this info
to deliberately trigger me. That way he could terrify me and control me. It was the worst
betrayal of my life. He admitted years later that it was intentional.

I've found that doing grey rock method with manipulators/controllers is a good ploy if she
is this type of person. Basically become so boring that she will be forced to seek out another
victim/drama to toy with. But again, if you can swing it, consider finding another place to live
so you can avoid dealing with her.

Best of luck!!!!
 
Hypnosis?! What an evil ol.... *ahem* sorry.

But honestly, it's repulsive actually. My heart hurts for you... she sounds really disturbed. I've been manipulated and known when someone was attempting to manipulate me, but never has it gone into hypnosis. It's bizarre.

How often do you have to be around her? I would seriously distance myself. Good luck.
 
It could be abuse, it could be she received shitty advice, or it be something she truly believes will help. If it is abuse, not much you can do change her behavior. If she received shitty advice? She may not stop until she figures out it isn't working. That may mean she tries harder and harder before she finally figures it out. If it is something she believes in, such as new age practices, she may be open to learning things that do help, you just have to speak her language.

I feel like I HAVE to work towards something constantly in life and I feel doomed if I don't keep my mind busy.
I can completely relate to this.

Can you carry a pair of earbuds on you and put on music to drown her out when she starts this? Can you try to focus on something else like tactile sensations instead of the noise?
 
Is there anyelse around when she starts doing this? This is really bizarre and creepy. I feel for you being exposed to this. How old is she anyways?

I think if you can call a hot line crises counselor after a episode of being exposed to that may give you some helpful suggestions to better ground yourself into your own reality. I think that leaving her alone whenever she starts up with that will send the right message, but I am still concerned about you.

I think that you have valid reasons about why this is so upsetting for you, It would drive me out of the home if I had the means to move away. Please keep us updated on your progress.
 
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