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Grandpa is in the ICU and it feels like I’m being traumatized (dads death)!! I need to sleep!

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The_One

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My dad died suddenly at age 56 from a heart attack: he went into the icu and died five days later. I was 14 and only saw him twice in the icu. I was so traumatized from that while experience.
I’m 28 now and my grandpa is now in the icu for something very similar. And he’s not expected to make it. I have a complicated relationship with him but I’m having trouble sleeping because I saw them do chest compressions and now I saw him hooked up to ventilators just like my dad was.

Idk what to do because I need to sleep to be able to work tomorrow but whenevr I close my eyes I see my grandpa being compressed by ems or in the bed having tubes for breathing.

What do I do? I know grief is normal even though at some points I really hated my grandpa. But now I am feeling guilty sad and feel like I’m getting traumatized.
I want to sleep!!
 
I have chronic insomnia. You can't make yourself sleep, but you can help yourself relax and distract yourself from the images in your mind that are upsetting you. I've had lots of practice. First, stop pressuring yourself to go to sleep and insisting you Have To Sleep. You are causing yourself more anxiety.

My #1 go to is music. Do you gave headphones or even just a phone or tablet you can softly play music on? I have several playlists ready to go because this is my normal, but choose something you enjoy and will find pleasant. Don't blare the volume.

I'm an evening tea drinker and I find that calming. Is there a beverage that you find relaxing?

I always have books stacked by where I sleep. Reading is great distraction, helps to get eyes tired, and I like it because I personally find it educational and useful ( serves more than one purpose).

When my nephew can't sleep he calls me. I'm not suggesting you annoy someone at a late hour, but if you are upset and really need to unburden, is there a good friend you can call?

Not for everyone, but I write in my journal. Sometimes writing "stuff" out is extremely therapeutic.

I'm putting this last because it's not for everyone. Try praying. 💜
 
Sometimes, distress is the only reasonable response to a situation. This situation is awful, so it’s incredibly human for you to be struggling right now.

The way to handle that? The only way is through. Right through the middle. Being as kind to yourself as you possibly can.
 
My dad died suddenly at age 56 from a heart attack: he went into the icu and died five days later. I was 14 and only saw him twice in the icu. I was so traumatized from that while experience.
I’m 28 now and my grandpa is now in the icu for something very similar. And he’s not expected to make it. I have a complicated relationship with him but I’m having trouble sleeping because I saw them do chest compressions and now I saw him hooked up to ventilators just like my dad was.

Idk what to do because I need to sleep to be able to work tomorrow but whenevr I close my eyes I see my grandpa being compressed by ems or in the bed having tubes for breathing.

What do I do? I know grief is normal even though at some points I really hated my grandpa. But now I am feeling guilty sad and feel like I’m getting traumatized.
I want to sleep!!
My husband just spent 10 days on a ventilator and intubation. The one thing I had to remember is take one day as it comes. Knowledge is power. I was totally in the loop and spent most of my time just there. He was unaware of my presence. Today he is home at age 78 and has seen a full recovery. The process you are describing is a mixture of so many emotions surfing all at the same time. It makes for such disregulation for you. I know this may not sound helpful but keeping a journal during this time maybe helpful in all of these surfacing emotions. Take one day fear. The next resentment, the next anger, etc. you get the idea..what ever comes to mind. Due to the date of this I do not know his status. This is just something you can do that may be helpful until you can invest more time in one on one support. This is a toughy.Oh, yes..just write. No punctuation just stream of consciousness. This has been a beginning of sorting things out for me. Hope it helps.
 
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