I think this forum contributed significantly to saving my life. It was here I realized I wasn't alone, hopeless, or a freak that had no purpose. I have learned so much from others: been given the gift of hope when there wasn't any; felt supported and encouraged when I was struggling or down; learned to laugh at myself; and for the first time in a long time felt accepted.
I only hope I can give back even a fraction of what has been given to me.
It's not that I hadn't felt different most of my life but I could cope, cover, shield myself, I "passed" for normal. When I had a complete melt-down I didn't know how to respond to the world and just could not find a reason or a place I fit. Here is where I am me at any given time...which, honestly, changes more than with the flashes.
Sometimes I post here and I start to get sick thinking "why did I write that??!" I wrote it to trust in reaching out, with the hope that what I say makes sense to somebody. It has been a scorched road, I get tired and I look for hope, I look for a "blabber" like me, I look for a smile, I look for a "HA!", I look for someone to comfort, I look for identification, I look for answers, I look to share what I've learned and maybe the next step, I look to remember WHO I am is okay.
I find ALL all these things and much much more right here. :)