Grounding memories

Ottoni1979

New Here
Hi, new to these forums. Have just started receiving PTSD therapy due to a armed robbery I was the victim of almost 20 years ago. On Monday my therapist wanted to teach me a grounding technique by taking me back to a happy memory where I was safe and secure. She wanted me to go back to these memories a couple of times a day, however I've been finding in doing so, when thinking of the memory of feeling safe, holding my dad's hand this makes me upset as well! This is what I don't really understand, is it because I'm sad that I don't feel this safe feeling right now and this is what's making me sad?
Any advice greatly appreciated, thankyou.
 

Friday

Moderator
There are a thousand possible reasons why... using a real memory can feel like contaminating it, feeling infantilized/powerless, +998 other possible reasons.

Easy solution? Pick a different memory.

Slightly harder solution? Pick a memory that meets the needs not met in your first choice (like if feeling like a kid in need of a grownup to protect you, instead of able to stand on your own two feet is the issue? Pick a memory when you’re doing exactly that.)

Harder still? Don’t pick a memory. Find a space within yourself, here and now, that meets the needs you want to fill.

There’s no right/wrong answer to any of this. It’s just finding an internal sense of strength and security to be able to step into as needed. Whether that’s a memory or imagined place or not.
 

RussellSue

MyPTSD Pro
Harder still? Don’t pick a memory. Find a space within yourself, here and now, that meets the needs you want to fill.
This is what I have to do. It has worked out well for me because I don't have a lot of memories of feeling safe.

As Friday said, there really are multitudes of reasons why that memory might cause you upset. It could attach to other memories that are disturbing, something might have happened that day that sucked, you might just miss your dad, etc., etc., etc.

I agree that finding the safe place is more important than finding out why the chosen place didn't work out. You can figure that out later (maybe).
 

Kittie

Confident
I've been on a similar quest...
I've even had hypnosis sessions to lessen/erase the memory and it failed.

I've found creating my own "happy place" in my home helps. There are stuffed animals, knick-knacks, pictures of peaceful beaches, aromatherapy oils, mild solar-powered color changeable lights, music and a rock heater for a hot rock massage for whatever hurts.

The room is there anytime I'm too stressed. If I wake up shook up from a dream, I can go in my "hippie room" (as mom called it). If I'm not home, I can imagine myself there and to make it more real when I'm away, I carry African violet oil.

I hope you find your happy place, best wishes!
 

Ottoni1979

New Here
I've been on a similar quest...
I've even had hypnosis sessions to lessen/erase the memory and it failed.

I've found creating my own "happy place" in my home helps. There are stuffed animals, knick-knacks, pictures of peaceful beaches, aromatherapy oils, mild solar-powered color changeable lights, music and a rock heater for a hot rock massage for whatever hurts.

The room is there anytime I'm too stressed. If I wake up shook up from a dream, I can go in my "hippie room" (as mom called it). If I'm not home, I can imagine myself there and to make it more real when I'm away, I carry African violet oil.

I hope you find your happy place, best wishes!
Thankyou for sharing your tips, some good ideas in there
 
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