• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Guilty because i can't get over it

Status
Not open for further replies.
Does anyone feel guilty they can't "get over it," whether "it" is a trauma, a relationship, an obsession, an "issue"? I feel like a loser because of the amount of time and mental energy I spend stuck in traumas and in the past--I feel like maybe I am feeling sorry for myself, but it doesn't seem like something I can control. I am in therapy: I am also working on getting a fuller schedule so I can have some distraction.
 
Why feel guilty about something you are working on? Isn't that like feeling guilty about sitting around doing nothing while you are outside mowing the lawn or washing the car?

I have a strong inner critic placed there by my perfectionist ex-father. It even sounds like him. He tells me I am just feeling sorry for my self. I tell me I am doing something about a problem that I used to struggle with before I asked for some help.

Pat yourself on the back and fill that schedule with something you want to do that you will feel good about doing. I like to sit around and do nothing myself.......

I play my guitar and build stuff and sit and click on this here lap clicker some too. Whatever stirs your soup.
 
Those guilt feeling is something that I really struggle with too. I think I heard "grin and bear it" and "pull yourself up by the bootstraps" far too many times growing up. I guess I feel like I should be able to take everything in stride and use it to my advantage. I wouldn't expect that from anyone else. Just me so I tend to feel guilty about everything.

I like what just me here and Solara had to say. My T has been making those suggestions for a while now. It's going to take some time though, I think. There is a bit less of getting down on myself.
 
I have a horrible tendency to bully myself relentlessly when it comes to this stuff. Like Justmethere, I have started thinking it is an introjected critic or abuser of some type.

The things that have helped have been radical acceptance and attempting to just let the tape play and remind myself it doesn't have to be true and carry on regardless. In fact it gets very much worse whenever I take any step forwards. It is as if it is out to destroy me.

For me I think if it as shame and self abuse rather than guilt because it is all encompassing.

You are in therapy and you are working on self compassion so good for you. :happy:One step after the other is what I try to concentrate on.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top