Relationship Had enough

dcb2410

Not Active
Honestly had enough. Poured love, time, energy, thoughtfulness, money, understanding etc into my ex partner. Trusted her words that I was her soulmate, the person she had waited for her whole life, the person who understood her like no other. And then became dust. Given my all to others my whole life. Worked my backside off for clients who are demanding. Poured every bit of energy I had into trying to be a good and supportive and loving partner. Right now am actually hoping that the coronavirus grips and takes me. I have had enough of people who blow up your phone with thousands of messages of commitment and love who then bail over some stupid simple thing. Promise they will never do such things - tell you you have their heart and to be gentle with it and then smash yours to pieces. Honestly sooner I'm out of this world the better.

What sickness does it take to tell your partner that your daughter is growing close to you and that you don't want them hurt - to ask for reassurance of commitment and then to just rip apart those bonds a week later over some stupid small misunderstanding. What absolutely sickness and moral vacuousness does it take. Going from one day sending your partner hourly updates on your daughter's wellbeing after being sick to then making out that in trying to give reassurance of commitment and wanting to just make a little one feel loved on her birthday that that is some obsession. FFS how can someone win trying to fit through the nanometre gap between insecurity (wanting reassurance, comfort and presence) and isolation. Does anyone on this planet actually have any commitment to anything any more or is everyone and everything simply disposable. It's just sick to see photos of people pulling weapons and throwing punches over toilet paper in a shopping centre.

@Freida thank you for explaining things so well! @Wanderlust I have a situation much like yours but I don't consider mine an ex because we have never been in an official relationship he doesn't do them even though he says he wants to marry me some day(just words) I been seeing my guy for 3 1/2 years now and I have come to be okay with it. He uses work as his coping mechanism is not getting help that I know for his combat PTSD but admits to having it at least. I guess what I am trying to say is keep yourself busy have a life you have to decide whether or not you can deal with PTSD having a priority over you for now or for always because it won't change and if he is not in therapy it will be a constant rubber band situation. I just look at it right now as I am free to see whom I choose if or until he decides to get help and enjoy the good times we do have together, not take things personally. If he waits too long and mister right comes along then it's his problem not yours. Its also his problem not yours if he chooses to not be a part of your life because it sounds like you have a lot to offer! Get out there enjoy your life! Sometimes easier said than done when you love someone trust me it has been tough! I do meditation and workout it helps!

I am an Empath and pretty intuitive. I think we could use a little of this. Not sure if this is a good thread for it but as a supporter who has had some trauma(prior abuse marriage)as well. I am finally getting both sides.
 

dcb2410

Not Active
Message to my Ex

Dear ex. We had something special. I know that because neither of us ran into a relationship for the sake of it. You didn't introduce me to your daughter lightly. I didn't walk into into her life with the intent of being yet another man that let you and her down. Maybe it all developed all too quickly. Maybe i was too reactive to your messages about how every man had let you and her down. Maybe too quickly i wanted to be the positive and consistent force in your lives that would not let either of you down. I took that from the thousands of messages about how neither of you had had love like i have given you. Maybe it was all too quick. I had said many times if if you wanted to slow things down i understood. But you were estranged from your family. You had little support. I introduced you to my family because your last partner had not. He turned up when it suited him. He hid you from his life. I tried to give you the things you said you lacked. It came from a place of love. Making you part of my family came from a place of knowing early on i wanted to be with you. In being with you it meant being part of your daughter's life. You told me in our first conversation about the loss of your ex partner - how he took his life. The father of your daughter. I sat, listened, took on board your fears of abandonment, i reassured you when you felt lost. I listened when you were stressed about financial matters. I listened when you were stressed about how your daughter had been bullied by her teacher. I doubled down in showing my commitment to you. I never belittled your stresses. i never failed to turn up.. You belittled my efforts to be there in response to your insecurities.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Joenot1368

New Here
I’m going Thru the EXACT same thing. Although it makes me feel less crazy seeing others where I am, I feel so horrible for you - a perfect stranger - but a human being fighting what you are. I feel the same pain. You are not alone. This is easily the worst experience of my life. I’m a 52 year old successful professional with 4 grown adult kids. I never suffered from any pain like what my survivor is putting me through and we both know that sad and only answer is to keep fighting to accept it as it is and move forward. I am unable to function at my capacity. I’m in therapy 2 times a week. I journal and Have an amazing support group. I KNOW my girlfriend is currently full blown PTSD symptomatic from a prior relationship where her ex abused her and her 3 kids. So I KNOW that is the reason. Coming to this forum has allowed me to see stories like yours and get an odd comfort in not feeling so alone with it. Although I am sorry you are in it.
I wake Up every day fighting and end each day sadly failing to get forward. I’m on meds and exercise and am otherwise healthy. This monster that is called PTSD. My whole heart goes out to both the survivors and supporters on this forum. It’s something I must admit I knew Very little about before 3 months ago. I know what I must Keep trying to do for myself and my loved ones. And I’m failing miserably.
so just sending good energy out
 

dcb2410

Not Active
I’m going Thru the EXACT same thing. Although it makes me feel less crazy seeing others where I am, I feel so horrible for you - a perfect stranger - but a human being fighting what you are. I feel the same pain. You are not alone. This is easily the worst experience of my life. I’m a 52 year old successful professional with 4 grown adult kids. I never suffered from any pain like what my survivor is putting me through and we both know that sad and only answer is to keep fighting to accept it as it is and move forward. I am unable to function at my capacity. I’m in therapy 2 times a week. I journal and Have an amazing support group. I KNOW my girlfriend is currently full blown PTSD symptomatic from a prior relationship where her ex abused her and her 3 kids. So I KNOW that is the reason. Coming to this forum has allowed me to see stories like yours and get an odd comfort in not feeling so alone with it. Although I am sorry you are in it.
I wake Up every day fighting and end each day sadly failing to get forward. I’m on meds and exercise and am otherwise healthy. This monster that is called PTSD. My whole heart goes out to both the survivors and supporters on this forum. It’s something I must admit I knew Very little about before 3 months ago. I know what I must Keep trying to do for myself and my loved ones. And I’m failing miserably.
so just sending good energy out

Sorry you are also going through this. I need to put my energies into my parents and other family and doing what I can to keep them safe and healthy through this pandemic. I feel very sorry for my ex. I pray she doesn’t get sick. I pray her daughter doesn’t either. I worry for them both but she’s made a choice to move on with her life so she will have to deal with that alone
 
Top