Invisible Fire
MyPTSD Pro
I am in a odd mental state. I can almost see where I need to be but it is hard to move towards it. I have spent my life being a victim of many things. Now I am in a place where I see I am not a victim. I am a survivor of mental, physical and sexual abuse. It started at an early age and I do not know a before and I do not know anything different. Or do I? Can I sit all of this down and live my life? Be present and grounded. Ride the waves when they come knowing they will pass? Can I be strong for that inner lost part of myself? It is easier to keep repeating. To not try on these new shoes. My therapist used that example a long time ago. That it is like wearing new shoes. You have to get used to the feel of them. Then a wave comes and knocks me out of them. But, I know where they are and how to put them on. It just scares me. Can anyone relate ? I am in my 40's being confident, well and strong are all new things for me. I sometimes think that wellness is triggering for me