And why they are triggering?
So like I was in therapy this week and we were talking about different kinds of shame - I have general sense of shame and feeling bad that is very body focused but I also have shame specific to certain events.
But if I tell him it might not make sense and then I'll feel even more embarrassed.
One of them that was most powerful a while ago is eating a particular kind of yoghurt and I had a flashback (or intrusive image, never sure which) related to CSA and I then felt really bad in my body for ages and wanted to not be in my skin and I thought if I explained that it might help but then will he understand what that was about for me. Or certain kinds of touch. Or people being behind me.
The general sense of badness is about weight and I sometimes wonder if my eating disorder 'mindset' is stuck at a certain developmental point and I feel ashamed because of that (although I know the way being underweight functions is that you end up feeling too big for a range of reasons) but i find reminding myself that I don't have to do that anymore (remain a low weight) and that helps.
Sorry but basically have you ever told your therapist about graphic triggers and if so how did they react and how did you feel.
So like I was in therapy this week and we were talking about different kinds of shame - I have general sense of shame and feeling bad that is very body focused but I also have shame specific to certain events.
But if I tell him it might not make sense and then I'll feel even more embarrassed.
One of them that was most powerful a while ago is eating a particular kind of yoghurt and I had a flashback (or intrusive image, never sure which) related to CSA and I then felt really bad in my body for ages and wanted to not be in my skin and I thought if I explained that it might help but then will he understand what that was about for me. Or certain kinds of touch. Or people being behind me.
The general sense of badness is about weight and I sometimes wonder if my eating disorder 'mindset' is stuck at a certain developmental point and I feel ashamed because of that (although I know the way being underweight functions is that you end up feeling too big for a range of reasons) but i find reminding myself that I don't have to do that anymore (remain a low weight) and that helps.
Sorry but basically have you ever told your therapist about graphic triggers and if so how did they react and how did you feel.