The_One
Learning
So I don’t wanna throw a pity party for me. I know life does suck it can be unfair it can be a bitch.
I know I shouldn’t compare my life to my friends or anyone really. I’m me, I’m myself. Life is messy and ugly. Life can be beautiful.
But I’m really starting to resent my best friend. I don’t want to feel this way but I really really am.
I get jealous of her because her life is so easy compared to mine. Idk all her inner struggles bc I know she struggles with weight and everything.
But her parents are rich, paid her way through college, she doesn’t even need to work.
She got into a car accident and somehow it was totaled she was okay but her whole new car was paid off by the insurance (what kinda luck is this)
While me, I have to work to pay off bills even if I live at home my mom is a single mom and she won’t support me unless I ABSOLUTELY need it. My dad died. I don’t have a paid off car. I had a student loan and pell grants that are now being covered by bidens loan forgiveness and when I told her this she sounded jealous???
We were working together for a couple years and whenevr we worked together I’d get the shorter end of the stick.
For example- first job, I got fired and she moved on (my mistake I was an Idiiot totally unacceptable and unprofessional behavior so maybe it’s not the best example)
Second job we worked together I’m laid off, she is kept on, promoted. This time it’s not bc of my work performance it’s bc of Covid.
Now she’s making ALOT more than me while I’m still recovering from being laid off. I got a job and was kicked back 4 dollars down after a year of no work. I got a new job and now make 1 dollar more . Ikay I know life sucks and it’s unfair but what the hell man. It makes me so mad.
Don’t get me started on dating or relationships. I’ve had two relationships and both failed. She has never dated a man seriously and she’s obsessed with getting married. She goes on rants about how unhappy she is being single and how much she wants to be married and why not me blah blah blah and it depresses me bc I feel the same way sometimes but I told her to delete IG because it will make you feel worse but she doesn’t listen. I deleted IG app off my phone. I don’t crave marriage like she does. Of course I do worry about it but there’s nothing I can do and I’m just not gonna settle just to be married.
I sound like a hating ass bitch, and maybe I am. Maybe I’m the toxic one. Yes I’m in therapy. Yes life sucks. But whenevr she complains to me about anything I can’t help but roll my eyes so hard.
I feel like I’m a lot harder than her and can handle a lot of emotions. She can’t. She can’t even handle pain like I can.
I don’t wanna lose friends . I barley have any now. But it’s just super super annoying .
Now she’s on Prozac and she’s a completely different person. She used to be laid back, now she’s anxiety ridden and clingy and super bubbly. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.
I know I shouldn’t compare my life to my friends or anyone really. I’m me, I’m myself. Life is messy and ugly. Life can be beautiful.
But I’m really starting to resent my best friend. I don’t want to feel this way but I really really am.
I get jealous of her because her life is so easy compared to mine. Idk all her inner struggles bc I know she struggles with weight and everything.
But her parents are rich, paid her way through college, she doesn’t even need to work.
She got into a car accident and somehow it was totaled she was okay but her whole new car was paid off by the insurance (what kinda luck is this)
While me, I have to work to pay off bills even if I live at home my mom is a single mom and she won’t support me unless I ABSOLUTELY need it. My dad died. I don’t have a paid off car. I had a student loan and pell grants that are now being covered by bidens loan forgiveness and when I told her this she sounded jealous???
We were working together for a couple years and whenevr we worked together I’d get the shorter end of the stick.
For example- first job, I got fired and she moved on (my mistake I was an Idiiot totally unacceptable and unprofessional behavior so maybe it’s not the best example)
Second job we worked together I’m laid off, she is kept on, promoted. This time it’s not bc of my work performance it’s bc of Covid.
Now she’s making ALOT more than me while I’m still recovering from being laid off. I got a job and was kicked back 4 dollars down after a year of no work. I got a new job and now make 1 dollar more . Ikay I know life sucks and it’s unfair but what the hell man. It makes me so mad.
Don’t get me started on dating or relationships. I’ve had two relationships and both failed. She has never dated a man seriously and she’s obsessed with getting married. She goes on rants about how unhappy she is being single and how much she wants to be married and why not me blah blah blah and it depresses me bc I feel the same way sometimes but I told her to delete IG because it will make you feel worse but she doesn’t listen. I deleted IG app off my phone. I don’t crave marriage like she does. Of course I do worry about it but there’s nothing I can do and I’m just not gonna settle just to be married.
I sound like a hating ass bitch, and maybe I am. Maybe I’m the toxic one. Yes I’m in therapy. Yes life sucks. But whenevr she complains to me about anything I can’t help but roll my eyes so hard.
I feel like I’m a lot harder than her and can handle a lot of emotions. She can’t. She can’t even handle pain like I can.
I don’t wanna lose friends . I barley have any now. But it’s just super super annoying .
Now she’s on Prozac and she’s a completely different person. She used to be laid back, now she’s anxiety ridden and clingy and super bubbly. I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all.