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Hello - A Self-Diagnostic Effort so Far

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Sean, Aug 6, 2007.

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  1. Sean

    Sean New Member

    Concerned that some mental cognition maybe brought
    on by either my current Ross River Virus or a couple of
    recent head injuries, it occurred to me this morning that there may be some sort of denial over the past
    couple of years, of the actual accidents and
    subsequent hospitalisations, possibly causing some
    sort of stress. I remember referring to it as
    "auto-phobia" last year, but it may have a better

    I hope that reading over some of the threads and posts here that I might learn from others accounts of
    PTSD what if any symptoms I may or may not share,
    and how to treat and overcome some of these
    mysterious anxieties and eccentricities. I maybe
    wrong, and must consider the causes of RRV and normal brain-damage as contributing factors. Perhaps am just worried about nothing.

    Excuse me while I go for a read now. I hope to get
    the time to come back and elaborate after reading a
    few examples. Thank you. BRB.
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  3. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi Sean, welcome to the forum.
  4. Sean

    Sean New Member

    Thank you for the forum itself.

    Thank you Anthony. Until today I could see myself
    starting to become the most cynical person I had
    ever met or read about. The professional manners
    I have so far gleaned from reading through some of
    the threads on ptsdforum.org remind me that while
    my attitude has often been at fault in recent times,
    the subject was probably on target, somewhat,
    albeit generally misunderstood.

    Not having thought to yahoo! PTSD until this afternoon
    in Perth, WA, I am almost speechless after such a
    discovery as this forum. I feel it appropriate to
    refrain from further reply until the morning, and hope
    to elaborate, as mentioned, on the journey to get
    here. That's not so urgent now. Still have two legs
    and arms working.

    Thank you again for the forum. Even your sense in
    browser choice rings true to a most rare note...

    TTY tomorrow, and well done,

  5. Sean

    Sean New Member

    Self-absorbed elaboration on introduction.

    Quote: WildfireWild1...


    Thank you Wild'. This is one example of the kind of information I have found, and hope to continue to find here.

    It can be a complicated jigsaw to piece together, and so I registered here to search for
    some of the missing shapes. I must admit that my purpose of joining is quite selfish,
    and I blame this motive on the frustration and anger I feel toward whatever it is that
    continues to make me ill for so long. I understand that not all of the pieces may fit my
    puzzle, but still must leave no stone ...

    I awoke from a nervous-breakdown yesterday morning and found this website in the
    early afternoon. I maybe barking up the wrong tree with PTSD research, and that must
    be the first question that I ask myself. That's probably the answer I most hope to gain
    from the forum at this stage. Am I one of youse, or just another pretender blown in on
    the wind?

    Prior to yesterday, I had no knowledge on this condition, other than occasional news
    reports, most recently regarding British veterans of recent international conflicts. I can
    offer very little help to other members of the forum - only anecdotal personal experience,
    possibly the result of physical injuries, or this nasty little mosquito-borne virus that lasts
    around a year and is non-fatal.

    Being ill for a few weeks is part of life. When it extends into years, it becomes frustrating.
    I am afraid of recovering from this Ross River Virus, only to find other remaining issues
    that need to be dealt with. It leads me back to the previous "interesting" times before RRV,
    when pain was isolated to the abdomen, chest, right arm and cranium. RRV is not fatal nor
    stressful as head injury, but it does seem to like to find new and creative methods to focus
    somatic pain. I had no reason to fear or stress over motor vehicles before the first accident.
    It came as quite a surprise. I have absolutely no fear of mosquitos whatsoever, except that
    typical compulsion to fear all things great and small on the same planet as the car wot hit me,
    asteroids and lightning included.

    It is not the RRV I fear. It's the injuries.

    Having noticed the first symptoms of the virus at around 12:15 on October 11th, 2006, I can
    only recall the events of that previous twelve months (27/09/05-10/10/06) for reliable remem-
    brances of head injury / PTSD without our parasitic little nuisance variable. I hope in future
    posts to mention anything questionable that may possibly be related to a cause outside the
    scope of this forum.

    My goal is firstly to determine whether I might subconciously suffer from PTSD, and if so,
    how I might learn to manage the future, particularly socially. After a single day of reading a
    few posts, this forum looks like a fairly good place to find some answers, and it has been a
    privilege to obtain membership.

    Whether a long-winded explanation of my life-history would be appreciated below has got me
    concerned. I feel I owe it to the forum to succinctly describe the causes, (plain motor-vehicle
    accidents), and the perceived symptoms. Please read no further if the following rant is self-
    absorbed pointlessness. Essentially:

    Accident #1: Tuesday, September 27th, 2005. 21:30pm.
    Rode motorcycle into car sans headlights on new moon.
    Unconscious 5 days, head, spleen, right arm.
    Hospital: 18 days, cranial/abdominal surgery.
    Injury #1: Frontal-lobe bleeding. Ongoing cognitive dissonance.

    Accident #2: Friday, May 26th, 2006. 20:30pm.
    Motorcycle struck by vehicle running through red-light.
    Unconscious 3 hours, head, lhs abdomen, ribs, shoulder rhs.
    Hospital: 3 hours, no surgery.
    Injury #2: Facial laceration, broken rib/s causing heart/breathing pain.

    Accident #3: Friday, July 21st, 2006. 20:00pm.
    Struck merging vehicle while riding motorcycle.
    Remained conscious. LH upper arm bruising only.
    Not hospitalised.
    Injury #3: Unwarranted fear.

    Frequent headaches.
    Frequent "false" heart attacks.
    Obsession with dates, places, times, grammar?
    Irrational desire to return to accident scene/nation/culture.
    Fear of noise, crowd, public.
    Regular insomnia.
    Sleepwalking x once remembered - Sunday May 28th, 2006.
    Dream confusions - not nightmares.
    (unable to differentiate between some dreams
    and some memories of previous days/weeks.)
    Improved memory of some past events.
    Amnesia of 3 hrs before first accident.
    Pointless aggressive emotion at menial things, usually internalised.
    Unexplained dislike of automobile drivers, irrational attitude.
    ( I drive an old Toyota now...)
    Strong need for solitude.
    Conflicting need for social interaction.
    Chronic confusion.

    From my reading so far, it appears that some of these problems maybe something related to
    PTSD, and I hope I can learn to overcome these things, and maybe help others at some point
    in time.

    Thank you for taking the time to read what I hope is a reasonable sort of intro'. Please let me
    know if I'm making a mountain out of a molehill here. I don't mean to discredit the forum. Must
    get back to the reading again. I haven't worked out how to check for "new posts only" on the
    forum yet, so please respond here in the Intro category if you have any questions (or answers!!!).
    Then I will be more likely to notice the change. Thank you.

    Cheers All,

  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member


    Welcome to the forum.

  7. Sean

    Sean New Member


    Thank you Marlene L. Your reply is evidence
    to me that I am not dreaming right now.

    I wish you the very best of luck for all the days
    forthcoming. Thank you, and others for your kind
    welcome to me. I shall remember.
  8. Sean

    Sean New Member


    This "moderated member" thing is an annoyance.

    Please sort this out by the morrow or expect to find
    better members. I understand the problems that you
    must face, but so do we all. If you continue to classify
    me as a near-to undesirable beyond the point of normalcy,
    then I have no choice left but to depart.

    I did not register because of too many friends.

    Sorry, but fix it, and respect me like I try to for you.
  9. Sean

    Sean New Member


    Sorry Anthony.

    Anger misplaced. I hope my efforts to come
    clean and be honest might overcome this.

    I allowed my hunger to effect my attitude.

    My apologies, and not forgotten.

    New member Sean, with bad attitude.
  10. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

    Hello Sean, welcome to the forum. You'll find plenty of good stuff to read here. I look forward to seeing you around.

  11. Sean

    Sean New Member

    Thank you for welcome.

    Thank you Claire. I will take your advice on the
    reading material. Methinks I ought to begin with
    reading the anger management information thread.
    It's a scary thought, that term.

    I didn't expect to see my previous two posts
    published, and am even more surprised that someone
    has the kindness to reply to such antics. I can
    accept now why it makes sense to moderate new
    members. I'm a good example of that need. I will try
    to not let other things cause such silly grievances on
    the forum from now on. Second time Mr Hyde has
    come out in two days. Not good behaviour.

  12. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    Hi Sean, welcome to the forum.

    I'm the one that passed those posts, as I felt they would be useful to you, to see how your anger and self-thoughts got the best of you and how you came back to it and realized it was off. I felt it was a great example. :) *don't worry, I do the same thing with all different sorts of things myself*

    Yes anger management can be daunting at first but it is a great place to start!

  13. Sean

    Sean New Member

    My cup runnethed over...

    Today I can appreciate your choice Bec. Thank's for keeping to adult, while I was regressing into adolescence,
    perhaps. The effort to recount the events yesterday
    was rather a strain, but it really is no excuse. I'm just
    impatient. I felt like I'd built a lovely sandcastle only to
    have the tide come in and wash it away, but this was
    just imagination in any case.

    The diagrams with the cups of stress make good sense in the anger management thread. Looking at the green part of the cup, one can draw excuses. That's not the point.
    The point is to remove the green section from the cup, and keep one's cool, so I gather.

    Soon I hope to be able to discuss some of these things in
    the correct threads for the forum. It's beyond the intro'
    stage. This was possibly the catalyst last night that got
    me in a tiz. What I probably ought to have asked was,
    is it acceptible to post replies to other threads or begin a new topic while still on probation? That was essentially
    my problem to begin with.

    I must read carefully first, because while the subject is
    not disturbing to me, it maybe to others. I look at the
    green part of the cup, and wonder whether my need
    to return to the places, to relive the past, is having a
    positive or negative influence. Am I removing the green
    in such endeavours, or just continuing to top it up? Am
    I conquering my demons, or bringing them back to life?

    I hope to look for a thread somewhere on the forum
    where this might be already discussed. It is not an
    introduction sort of thing, and I haven't read every
    thread yet.

    Thanks again for your wisdom. I'm glad I had the guts
    to log on again this morning. Last night was not the
    stupidest thing I've ever done, but it gets a rating...

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