Undiagnosed Hello! CSA, bullying & emotional abuse

Nyoom

New Here
Hi! Not comfortable sharing my real name, but you can call me Zuzu or Nyoom. I'm 19 years old, and am off to uni come September which I am equally terrified and excited about. I am in a relationship that's been strong for 2 years, and hopefully many, many more.

I acknowledge I am a bit cringe, but I take pride in who I am and have grown to be quite confident in myself. I've experienced various traumas, including CSA, emotional abuse, long term bullying, parents with life threatening illnesses and severe mental illness, etc, etc, and while I don't have an official PTSD diagnosis, I have been assessed by various therapists using tools used in the diagnosis of PTSD and such tools suggested I have a high likelihood of it, so while I don't want to pretend I do have PTSD for certain, it seems very likely that I have it, and most likely had it in the past at the very least. I wish to get professionally diagnosed but the mental health crisis in the UK makes that hard, and since I'm already in therapy and on medication for my symptoms, what much would a diagnosis do at this point? Make me feel more legitimate? Make others take me more seriously? I'm already receiving treatment, that's been very useful, so I have no real reason to take up the time of a psychiatrist for such minor and useless reasons. Regardless, I do view myself as a sufferer, but try to make it clear this is not definite. So yeah, long paragraph to say "I have trauma and a lot of PTSD symptoms but am not diagnosed with PTSD" lmao. I don't want anyone to be mislead by my words or anything, so I thought I'd clarify. I do have diagnosis of depression, GAD, and social anxiety, but I consider myself mostly recovered from the social anxiety outside of particular contexts, and my depression has gotten fairly mild recently thanks to medication, though GAD is still an issue. I may also have OCD, but same story with the PTSD really.

I don't wish to make anyone uncomfortable, of course, so I wanted to clarify all that in my introduction. I've posted here before, but not with an account. Many describe me as quite eccentric (Fine art student, comes with the territory) and unpredictable, so I can be a bit off putting to those not used to my sense of style, humour, and overall demeanour. Regardless, I hope to add to this community and encourage others in their recovery, as well as provide advice to those who ask for it :) I'm into a lot of niche things that many would consider childish and/or cringe, but it brings me enjoyment and comfort, and that's what really matters. I'm a lot different online from how I am in the real world but I hope to try and present some more of how I generally act in daily life here, since I feel safer being more open about who I am. I hope to help others feel the same :)

Currently listening to: My ordinary life, by the living tombstone :)
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
Many describe me as quite eccentric (Fine art student, comes with the territory) and unpredictable, so I can be a bit off putting to those not used to my sense of style, humour, and overall demeanour
Welcome! When I was in Nursing school I would go over to the fine arts area to feel like I was with my tribe. I love science but I am an artist for the most part.
 

Friday

Moderator
When I was in Nursing school I would go over to the fine arts area to feel like I was with my tribe. I love science but I am an artist for the most part.
LMAO… for my pre-req years, ditto!

Hard science
Soft Science -or- Fitness course
Fire Arts
= My (almost) every quarter 🤣

The soft science / fitness courses were purely to max out my financial aid. And it was just like…. Um? I can go to the gym every day, and get an extra 2k per month? Yeah. Like white on rice.

Later I just signed up for a 1credit art lab to have access to the Studios, and then ended up making $55 an hour as a TA. Sweet gig if you can get it. Especially as the bazillion hours of entry level acute care & practicums? Paid Jack.
 

Nyoom

New Here
Welcome! When I was in Nursing school I would go over to the fine arts area to feel like I was with my tribe. I love science but I am an artist for the most part.
Nice to see fellow artists around :) I'm hoping to become an art therapist, myself, so I'll be working in healthcare too one day (hopefully lol). May as well combine my passions :D
 

Nyoom

New Here
When I had to go inpatient, I had art therapy. It opened up a whole world for me! You will be doing good work!
I'm so glad you had such good experiences with art therapy, and it makes me smile knowing that I'll hopefully be able to provide similar experiences to others. I really believe in the power of art and the effects it has on our wellbeing and emotional state :)

Welcome, Nyoom. Love the name.
Thank you, and same to you :D
 
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