I am a guy suffering from ptsd. I spent nearly 20 years as a police officer seeing terrible things and when I left that profession I did some other things and then felt I was called to ministry which I did for a few years and my ptsd came back from dealing with death and misery.
I've also caused misery in my family from being miserable all the time and I've been living away from my family for a few months now and I have very little hope that I will one day be back with my family.
I go to sleep each night hoping and praying that God will just let me go to sleep and not wake up. Unfortunately that's hasn't happened!
So each day I crawl out if bed dreading the day ahead and hoping that he will soon grant my prayer. I don't believe in suicide as I've seen what that does to not only families but those who respond to these types of calls.
I am so very tired of life and as Winston Churchill said "I've grown bored with it all."
I have a counselor and I've expressed these thought to her. I've sought answers in the bible and everyone refers me to Job but that doesn't help me.
I almost feel as though this is God's way of punishing me for my screwed up llfe.
I have no friends anymore so I don't have anyone to talk to and I miss having a friend to just hang out with or just talk to. The loneliness I feel sucks and I'm not real good at letting people get to know me on a friend level. I feel as though I should just go live in the woods since that's kind of where I am on an emotional level.
I feel broken and unfixable at this point in my life and I have little hope for the future.
I've also caused misery in my family from being miserable all the time and I've been living away from my family for a few months now and I have very little hope that I will one day be back with my family.
I go to sleep each night hoping and praying that God will just let me go to sleep and not wake up. Unfortunately that's hasn't happened!
So each day I crawl out if bed dreading the day ahead and hoping that he will soon grant my prayer. I don't believe in suicide as I've seen what that does to not only families but those who respond to these types of calls.
I am so very tired of life and as Winston Churchill said "I've grown bored with it all."
I have a counselor and I've expressed these thought to her. I've sought answers in the bible and everyone refers me to Job but that doesn't help me.
I almost feel as though this is God's way of punishing me for my screwed up llfe.
I have no friends anymore so I don't have anyone to talk to and I miss having a friend to just hang out with or just talk to. The loneliness I feel sucks and I'm not real good at letting people get to know me on a friend level. I feel as though I should just go live in the woods since that's kind of where I am on an emotional level.
I feel broken and unfixable at this point in my life and I have little hope for the future.