Supporter Hello, I'm Dave. My partner has C-PTSD.

Dave in LA

New Here
I'm brand new here. My fiancee has C-PTSD from childhood sexual and emotional abuse. My deceased father also had PTSD from his experiences as a Vietnam vet.

With my father (who died years ago), it was depression and three suicide attempts during my teens/early 20s. At least one psychiatric hospitalization. I didn't fully understand then what this was about, or really what it meant to me. During his first attempt, I was the only person in the house after my mother and sister fled in tears. He stayed locked in his bedroom all night long, while I waited outside, not knowing he had his gun out. I didn't even think about calling the police, or for medical help. At the second one, I pulled him from a closet and rode in the ambulance with him after he took a bottle of pills.

My fiancee suffered sexual abuse from her step-father, and emotional and physical abuse from her mentally ill mother. I just now am getting through her latest shutdown, locking me away for a week and not communicating with me, after her abandonment fears were triggered again. I waited basically alone, wondering (again) if this was a new step towards her second hospitalization.

Most of my professional life involves clients with a history of severe trauma, but not as a clinician. I know the issues, but I've never felt them so closely and personally until meeting my fiancee. It causes anguish and stress for both of us. I've looked in vain for local support groups for partners. I'm hoping to get that here.
 

anthony

Founder
I know the issues, but I've never felt them so closely and personally until meeting my fiancee.
Its a pickle, for sure. Welcome to the site. Knowing something and experiencing it, two very different things. You can deal with trauma clients day in, day out, but you aren't living with them, which is an entirely different experience. I think its a good thing for your fiancée that you have knowledge to help your interaction with her. Too many partners swing to the defensive or offensive, instead of working in the middle ground and knowing when to apply each aspect appropriately. There is a time to support directly, there is a time to walk away and support them by taking time out and let them calm.

Like you should know, online support can get diverse opinions. Take what works for you, ignore the rest.
 

FFwife

Sponsor
Hi Dave, welcome from another supporter!

As I read your introduction, my first thought was to wonder if YOU are ok? It seems you have had some very traumatic events, too! I know not everyone develops PTSD, obviously, but just checking to see how you are.

Being a supporter is hard. I'm learning alot from the supporter section, as well as all the other sections. (I'm new here myself).

Good luck to u!!
 
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