Hi, I'm a twenty-seven year old male, presently unemployed and living with my parents. I have no friends--haven't had any in seven years--and I have never had a relationship, though not from lack of desire or opportunity. These are the sort of things you don't tell people, especially when you're introducing yourself, but I expect many of you will be able to relate, if not to the exact circumstances, then at least to the emotional and psychological problems that have prevented me from living a "normal" life. I recently was diagnosed with PTSD, but I have suffered from the condition all of my life. As a very young child, I had the misfortune to experience inconceivable horror in the form of mind-rending nightmares, some of which were so overwhelming that I would wake hallucinating or enter trance states. Of course, the nightmares were the reflection or reliving, in symbolic form, of things too terrible to remember. As I grew up I became, through no choice of my own, two-dimensional, a mask, living on the surface of myself, everyday wrapping the real me--that sick, aborted creature sobbing in the dark--in chains. Now I feel very little and have lost any connection I once had to my emotional core. For me, life is dull and flavorless. I have born this burden all of my life and, except for very rare glimpses of freedom (accompanied by unspeakable joy and feelings of eucatastrophe), I have known little else. Two years ago I decided that I could bear it no longer and began therapy. I have since gone through three counsillors; the first was able to help me but he left after only a few session; the one I'm seeing now, and have been seeing for the past eight months, is useless. I do not have access to any other therapists. I begin to despair. Thank you.