This is no fun at all.
I went in for a session this afternoon and felt okay with it. I've been feeling more emotionally detached this week, which I attributed to the medication I've begun, so we jumped in to discussing the shooting situation I was involved in on-duty 15 years ago. I was fine throughout the session, no overwhelming emotions, just narrated my way through without a lot of feeling one way or the other. We talked about some other things going on with me, and end of session. All seemed fine.
Now it's ten hours later and I can't stop thinking about it. It's really driving me crazy. I went to bed, tried to watch tv to fall asleep. Gave up on that, plugged my iPod into my ears and blared the volume but it still won't drown it out. Finally gave up after lying there for over three full hours and decided to just come up to the computer.
It's now 1 a.m. and I was supposed to go to a 7 a.m. breakfast meeting, which I suppose I'm going to skip out on now.
I can't stop playing the scene over and over in my brain, no matter what I try. I just keep seeing it all, and thinking about what we talked about, and what I forgot to say, etc., etc...
When we decided (last week) to jump in to it this week if I felt up to it she said she wanted to end by working on meditation and relaxation to cope with the aftermath of opening the door, but I guess I was so detached that we skipped it. And we got off subject and tackled some other subjects at the end of the session. Now I really wish we'd have given whatever she had in mind a try.
I know I should have expected this, but I wish there was a way to shut it down for the night. I have to drive two hours tomorrow to see a psych in another town (1st visit) and right now it feels like I may have to do the drive alone with no sleep at all. Time just keeps moving forward tonight, and I'm still completely wired.
If anyone's had success with some technique for shutting down the brain after a therapy session I'd welcome hearing about it. (Anything other than alcohol anyway, I'm not letting that technique back in my life at the moment.)
I went in for a session this afternoon and felt okay with it. I've been feeling more emotionally detached this week, which I attributed to the medication I've begun, so we jumped in to discussing the shooting situation I was involved in on-duty 15 years ago. I was fine throughout the session, no overwhelming emotions, just narrated my way through without a lot of feeling one way or the other. We talked about some other things going on with me, and end of session. All seemed fine.
Now it's ten hours later and I can't stop thinking about it. It's really driving me crazy. I went to bed, tried to watch tv to fall asleep. Gave up on that, plugged my iPod into my ears and blared the volume but it still won't drown it out. Finally gave up after lying there for over three full hours and decided to just come up to the computer.
It's now 1 a.m. and I was supposed to go to a 7 a.m. breakfast meeting, which I suppose I'm going to skip out on now.
I can't stop playing the scene over and over in my brain, no matter what I try. I just keep seeing it all, and thinking about what we talked about, and what I forgot to say, etc., etc...
When we decided (last week) to jump in to it this week if I felt up to it she said she wanted to end by working on meditation and relaxation to cope with the aftermath of opening the door, but I guess I was so detached that we skipped it. And we got off subject and tackled some other subjects at the end of the session. Now I really wish we'd have given whatever she had in mind a try.
I know I should have expected this, but I wish there was a way to shut it down for the night. I have to drive two hours tomorrow to see a psych in another town (1st visit) and right now it feels like I may have to do the drive alone with no sleep at all. Time just keeps moving forward tonight, and I'm still completely wired.
If anyone's had success with some technique for shutting down the brain after a therapy session I'd welcome hearing about it. (Anything other than alcohol anyway, I'm not letting that technique back in my life at the moment.)