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Sexual Assault Help

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Dddd

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Six years ago my parents put me in in foster care. I lived with one foster family for almost a year & the father of the family repeatedly molested me. The first time it ever happened was on Christmas. When I happened I tried to report the father but nobody would believe me. It wasn’t until almost a year after this happened that I finally found support from a police officer who helped get my case out there, but the only outcome of this was a slap on the wrist for the father. To this day I still double check all my locks & check over my shoulder because I think he will find me. I know this is insane because he would never be able to find me as I am not even in the same country.

Every Christmas is a huge trigger for me & I really stuggle with feelings of helplessness & suicide. I have tried to get counselling but it has never been a good experience for me. I feel so alone in this stuggle & have no idea who to turn to or what to do anymore. It’s been six years & the feelings are just as strong as the day it happened. Will it ever hurt less? Will I ever stop living in fear? Please help me
 
I am so very angry at the foster father who hurt and betrayed you and the system failed you until one good cop heard you and tried to help you. I am so relieved to hear that someone out there tried to help.

It is so hard when you try to fight the system that betrayed your innocense and trust fails you so much so I understand you feeling and thinking the way you are and how courageous you were to reach out for help here.

I am glad that you are able to provide the best safety for yourself that you can. Betrayal I have found with the lack of justice really to takes a long time to heal and recover from and I understand how it feels to live looking over your shoulder in fear all of the time in being found so that they can hurt you some more.

I think with good therapy and belonging to this group you have more of a good chance to begin to heal and to recover from the total harms done to you.

Good for you for reaching out here. My heart goes out to you. I hope that you will keep on getting so much help and support for yourself that in the good responses here to vindicate and believe you and support you will start to feel like justice for you. My healing went on the fast track when I joined here and I think yours will too.

I hope that you continue your fighting for your safety in your home and start to counteract the fear thoughts with the truth that this guys knows that you fought back and may actually now be afraid of you. I also know that since you fought back it will be a mark against him so that his next victim will have a chance to fight back as well to the point that eventually he is held accountable. I know this sucks royally, yet you have succeeded in getting so far away from him that it is impossible for him to ever be able to hurt you again ever.

If he was to find you, you would call the police and have him taken off of your property. I do have a question though has he ever tried to approach in any way at all since that time? I wish you the best and hope the best for you.
 
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I really think that you can find help and healing. Don't give up on pursuing therapy. Look for a trauma and sexual abuse specialist. You might try using Psychology Today.
So sorry this happened to you and on Christmas.
You can reclaim your life.
There are so many resources and paths for healing out there for you.
 
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