Hey, my name's Christiey. I've been suffering from complex ptsd for over a year now. Just lately, it has gotten worse. To the point of me pushing everyone that I really care about. Especially if they are a guy. I was sexually abused for 8 years, sexually assaulted by a cousin at age 12, and raped by a boyfriend at age 13.
I came by this forum because I was looking for a way to make my guy friends understand without telling them everything. But, I've been unable to. It's like my disorder reacts for me sometimes. For instance, a guy friend can try to hug me (and before I started getting worse, I would hug them) but now I automatically back away from them. I don't even like shaking hands with a guy.. basically anything that requires physical contact. But, I want to. I know it's ok for me to, but then again, my ptsd reacts for me. And I am left feeling like an idiot because I see the hurt on their faces. Especially the ones I was extremely close to.
And secondly I came to hopefully try to understand myself and just have a place to go to where other people know to an extent of what I'm going through.
-christiey-
I came by this forum because I was looking for a way to make my guy friends understand without telling them everything. But, I've been unable to. It's like my disorder reacts for me sometimes. For instance, a guy friend can try to hug me (and before I started getting worse, I would hug them) but now I automatically back away from them. I don't even like shaking hands with a guy.. basically anything that requires physical contact. But, I want to. I know it's ok for me to, but then again, my ptsd reacts for me. And I am left feeling like an idiot because I see the hurt on their faces. Especially the ones I was extremely close to.
And secondly I came to hopefully try to understand myself and just have a place to go to where other people know to an extent of what I'm going through.
-christiey-