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Hey - Chronic Pain with PTSD

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by woundedme, Oct 14, 2006.

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  1. woundedme

    woundedme New Member


    Ive had some nasty ptsd type stuff going on for two years, but the worst that Ive had is chronic pain along with it, and I still have it sometimes. Its burning in my upper body and face and I get nightmares and weird thoughts and panic and dizziness and derealisation and all the crap, and when I wake up in the morning when Ive had pain at night then Im usually delirious....I have troubles recognizing where I am, it takes a couple minutes till Ive shaken the unreal feeling that Im on another planet....

    do you guys have pain also? Did you find anything that relieves it?

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  3. woundedme

    woundedme New Member

    Oh I might add that anything that is a strain brings on pain...for example unloading the dishwasher, using the computer for more than like one hour, or dealing with emotional stuff....for example Ive tried to sort things out with my (very difficult) ex girlfriend...and that is enough a strain to disrupt my night totally and make me be totally out of it for days, not to mention all the physical pain it brings.....I mean the only way for me to avoid the pain is not do anything....and not deal with difficult stuff...the discipline ignorance requires is a full time job in itself cuz Im always prone to overdoing things...which is not difficult cuz only hovering the floor is overdoing it for me....:crybaby:
  4. Boo-Damphir

    Boo-Damphir Active Member

    Hey Wounded, I think you will find a lot of people here with chronic pain on top of everything else. It's quite a nasty beast actually. It is a huge factor in depression and the symptoms of PTSD. It's hard to separate them sometimes they are so close.

    I've been on lots of meds for my pain (which is both nerve and bone pain = different kinds of drugs :finger: ) And I have gone through periods where I told myself that the only way to get physically comfortable is to take the meds as directed whether I'm in pain or not / whether I can lift my own arm or not! That's only fun for so long. I got tired of being stoned out of my head, it wasn't fair to my family and most importantly it wasn't fair to me!

    Now I'm on a minimum of pain meds, they don't relieve the pain but nothing does. I stay active, but finding that balance between doing too much and not enough is really hard. As the weather or my mood or the stars above change, my pain level changes. What I could do last week I can only do half of now. Some things I couldn't do at all last week, are pretty easy today.

    There's really no cookbook answer. You have to be your own lab rat and experiment. Journaling really helps. My husband helps too because he often sees symptoms of increased pain in my long before I do. So if you have someone there with you, give them "permission" to point those things out to you (and you have to gain the mindset to take it as an observation not personal criticism :moon: -tough to do at first!)

    In addition to journaling, I do meditation, guided imagery and above all stay active. If you don't use it, you'll lose it. I even have accupuncture on my "wish list" for that day when my money tree blooms LOL!

    Let us know what you try, what works, what doesn't. We can all learn something from eachother. Above all, hang in there - if planning your day is too much, scale it down and plan only the next 2 hours!

  5. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Boo really put it well. All I can really add is welcome to the forum.
  6. permban0008

    permban0008 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Welcome to the forum.
  7. cookie

    cookie I'm a VIP

    hello wounded, welcome here. i am very fortunate not to have a lot of physical pain, other than some osteoarthritis. i used to be achy all the time, though. excercise on a regular basis really helps that kind of pain, in the long run.
  8. Nam

    Nam I'm a VIP

    Welcome Wounded. Healing the hurt inside will help the intensity of the pain physically since we all know that fear only intensifies pain. We're glad you've found us.
  9. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Welcome wounded, glad you found us. Can you tell me more about your pain please? For example, are you over weight at present, have you been diagnosed with PTSD, what does your day consist, etc etc...
  10. woundedme

    woundedme New Member

    Hey guys, thanks for the replies. Youre great!

    It really is hard to draw the line between doing too much and doing too little...cuz when I do too much I usually drown in self reproaches that its my own fault because after all I over did it, and when I do too little then I feel guilty and like a lazy prick....and my family is the most unsupportive, my mom usually always knows what to say to make me feel more guilty on top of it. And my dad once said to my face that Im making the pain up....go figure!

    Im not overweight, anthony....Im underweight...Ive been diagnosed with adrenal burnout syndrome....my total energy loss is about 70% or more....adrenal burnout means that my adrenal glands and thyroid glands are severely insufficient.....

    I have been dependent on pain meds for more than a year....Im off all meds now for two months due to a change in diet...however Im still very weak...

    for example, Ive been feeling better three weeks ago...and whenever I feel better then I automatically try to solve things....so I tried to solve stuff with my ex girlfriend, and this pushed me right back into total exhaustion again...I had to stay in bed for a couple days, not to mention all the weird mental symptoms that I get when Im exhausted, to the point of suicidal ideation....I always end up in a double blind situtation....cuz when I dont deal with emotional stuff then I feel Im not doing enough to help me, but when I do deal with things then I get even worse cuz I dont have the energy.....

    The people that diagnosed my adrenal burnout syndrome said that to achieve success it is recommended to practice emotional detachment....that means, avoid situations that upset me, be in a positive and encouraging environment....so what they say is, I must not deal with my girlfriend...cuz she drives me crazy....but not dealing with it hurts me too cuz Im still attached to her and if its only because things arent resolved ya know.....not to speak of all the other things that are not resolved in my life....but I dont have the energy....so I cannot even do anything about it.

    I think I have to get away from everything that is a strain until I have recovered....away from my family and away from bad situations.

    Im seeing a pain specialist on tuesday...Ive finally had the energy to call them up....I had an appointment two weeks ago already, but I had to cancel it because I got an energy crash again two days prior to that appointment....and I was too weak to drive to the doc, ya know, so I had to wait two weeks for another appointment....I hope I have the energy on tuesday.

    I dont think doctors can help me because I refuse to take drugs, after all I have struggled almost two years to get off of them....but what I want is to get on disability...I mean Im not even able to hover the floor, so how can I even work parttime?

    Another thing is...my sister knows an osteopath or how that is called...they remove physical blockages from the body, and he also gives massages....maybe that helps. I have decided to call this dude up when I have the energy...I hope I get some energy back soon.

    I have not been officially diagnosed with ptsd, but I have had the strongest ptsd symptoms and flashbacks....and panic and anxiety and the weirdest mental symptoms you can imagine...plus the pain....Im really impaired, and Im running out of money. Ive also tried to work but I only got worse, so I also have a work phobia so to speak...cuz whenever I do stuff, I risk having to spend my days in bed.

    I also wont be diagnosed with ptsd simply because I dont go to a psychiatrist...they only give me meds, and it was most important for me to get off all meds, so psychiatrists will only harm me...
    I go my own way.

    My day consists of....depends on my energy level.

    When Im fortunate enough to not have strong pain then I do stuff that is not physically or mentally exhausting...for example, play the piano, or record songs that I arrange....

    When my energy is superb, I make an effort to study something online....although that goes very slowly because I also get pain when I concentrate too much...and studying is concentration.

    When my energy is very low due to my foolish attempt to resolve issues for example, or because I have move too much the day before, then I cannot do anything...I spend a big part of the day in bed trying to save energy, I try to endure the pain flare ups that come along with low energy, and I beat myself up over the fact that my diet gets bad because I need the extra energy that I get out of chocolate and doughnuts...although I know that these things make me only worse, and in turn, they cause more pain.

    After an energy collapse it usually takes two or three weeks to be halfway stable again.....so I really need to take better care of me and avoid stressing situations....but thats hard, because whenever I get more energy then all the issues come up again, which urges me to deal with them....and then when I deal with them, I crash because I lack the energy required to face things....and then I think of suicide and feel like Im dying....

    I really hope they get me on disability cuz it would be a major help for me when I can lift the financial stress off my life...that would help me recover a great deal....Ill see how it goes after my appointment on tuesday, I really hope I have the energy to go there....:crybaby:

    I hope youre all doing good. :eek:ccasion:
  11. woundedme

    woundedme New Member

    Oh let me clarify so that you dont get me wrong...the girlfriend stuff I only posted to illustrate what happens when I deal with emotionally difficult situations...this has nothing to do with my ptsd symptoms, they dont have anything to do with a girlfriend, lol......its just im so exhausted, I cannot even deal with things that are in the present...yet alone with things of the past.
  12. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Ah.... that was going to be my second question... are you under weight. Adrenal Burnout Syndrome (ABS)... that one I hadn't heard off. I like the abbreviation for it though... ABS... though if used in conversation, "I have ABS", chances are people are going to say something like... "so what? I have ABS too, what does that have to do with this conversation?" :)

    Anyway, back to the point. Ok, so you smack bang between a rock and a hard place then. I think its a matter of biting one or the other, and kicking the shit out of it, ie. suffer the pain and beat PTSD, or suffer PTSD and sort the ABS issue first. Certainly does make dealing with PTSD a whole lot more difficult, because the facts are, dealing with PTSD is dealing with emotions and feelings. You can't heal from trauma and manage PTSD without these things. I think it really is one or the other decision... Is ABS curable?
  13. woundedme

    woundedme New Member

    Yup its curable, but Ive been told it takes between 1 and 5 years to cure it, and most people never make it because they lack the discipline that it takes.

    I think I can physically recover within a couple of months in case my life circumstances are supportive of my illness, which they are not, and Im currently making the biggest effort to get things in the right direction in that respect.

    I think I have to focus on the physical illness first, and when this is under control then I can tackle the emotional side. It seems that I really have to avoid emotionally difficult situations to save the energy for healing. Thats what Ive been told anyway, but I thought it might be wise to lift pressure off my soul at the same time, which is obviously not really beneficial.

    Its difficult enough to care for the right circumstances in which healing is possible....I dont even have the basement yet so to speak. I think once this is done and I have a stable and safe life then healing and dealing will happen by itself. I also think this is the most difficult part when youre impaired, getting the right life situation in which healing is possible.

    Getting on disability would be about 50% of that, because then I would at least have the money to make things happen. Right now, I dont even have the money, nor the energy. And much of my energy I use to figure out how to be able to work, but of course thats a dead end because I cannot work, so Im stuck using my energy for things that have no solution.

    I dont know, do you guys also have a problem with frustration?
    Its like I have this appointment with the pain docs tomorrow, and only calling them up was a major strain, and I know for a fact that when they refuse to help me financially and at least make an effort to get me on disability, then I will be so frustrated that it will drain my energy for at least two other weeks....thats one reason why I always hesitate to ask people for help, because when they turn out to be ignorant, then Im so frustrated that its only again an obstacle to my health.

    I mean, its even real....when Im procrastinating then its only because the risk of ending up drained is too high...its not like I can afford frustration and discouragement.

    Its easy for people that dont depend on help from the outside to say like...'hey its no big deal', but it is...after all people that have support dont end up frustrated when things that are necessary get smashed...after all they already have all the necessary things, so theyre not dependent on help....Im still pissed at how ignorant most people are that have no ptsd or so...I sometimes even wish it on them so that they see how difficult it is....Ive been facing enough ignorance for a lifetime already...

    Well in case I get healthy again then Ill be way stronger than all these stupid bastards....and way smarter....I already am way smarter...all I want is to not need ignorant idiots....like my family for example, and like a thousand others....Ill try and get a substitute.

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