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Hi - Husband Has PTSD

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by heartbroken, Sep 13, 2007.

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  1. heartbroken

    heartbroken New Member

    Hi there -
    I know this is supposed to be a forum for people who actually HAVE PTSD, and I'm sorry if I'm intruding. But I thought maybe someone who has experienced it first hand can give me some advice. My husband is a Marine, and has been to Iraq twice. The first time, I didn't see that much of a change. But the second time, he came back an entirely different person. He was isolated, withdrawn, and detached from everything, including me and our two children. He seems like he is totally incapable of giving me any indication that I still matter to him. He's angry all the time. He used to be so thoughtful, but now he makes decisions without even considering how they will affect his family. I've suspected for a while that it may be PTSD, and it took me about a year to persuade him to see someone about it. Now he is just beginning treatments. But I feel so alone and worthless, I don't know if I can stick around to see the results. I love my husband more than anything in the world, and I don't want to leave him. But I don't know what to do. I grew up in a household where I didn't feel the slightest bit loved, so I tend to be a bit oversensitive. I've been working on that, but his actions make me feel like it's not doing any good. I'm starting to feel the same way I did as a child. I want to help my husband, but no matter what I try, he pushes me away. He tells me he still loves me, but his actions say something entirely different. I know I'm rambling a bit, and I'm sorry for that. I guess what I want to know is what I can do to help him, without driving myself insane or completely ruining our marriage. I've tried everything I can think of, and it seems that I only make things worse. Thanks so much in advance for any help I might get on this.
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  3. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    Welcome to the Forum, Heartbroken.

    Carers are just as welcome here as PTSD'ers! We have a carer's section you can chat in, a carers section for information, and our regular PTSD chats, and general chats. Take a look around and make yourself comfortable!

    Ace Ventura likes this.
  4. permban0077

    permban0077 Policy Enforcement Banned

    Nope it was made for both the carer and the sufferer. Welcome to the forum. Bec gave you some great areas to start.
  5. She Cat

    She Cat Policy Enforcement Banned Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    Welcome to the forum....I'm sorry that your hubby is having a tough time right now. This isn't easy, for him or you..It affects everyone. Take care of yourself too, and I want to say, "Thanks" to your hubby for serving his country, and for his bravery.....

    Ace Ventura likes this.
  6. 2quilt

    2quilt I'm a VIP

    You are certainly not intruding, honey, you are in the perfect place, come on in and have a seat! His PTSD is affecting you both, and I am glad that you care enough to seek advice and help now. This is a great forum. I have been here for a few months and I have received a friendly reception and thoughtful advice from many people from all over the world.
    I am a 100% service-connected physically disabled female Desert Storm vet with PTSD, so I can tell you about that. A very sincere "Welcome Home" to your Marine. I can only imagine how hard life was for you while he was over there. You are a very strong person. Now that he has come home, you are dealing with him and his internal demons. And as you know, the military trains him to 'drive on' and to deal with problems no matter how bad they are --without expression of sadness, regret, guilt or fear. They train us to turn emotions inward. If you can get him to willingly see someone professionally, that is such a good sign! I hope that now he understands that war zones give us all PTSD, that he did nothing wrong, and that there's nothing wrong with asking for help now.
    I am so glad to see you here.
    Ace Ventura likes this.
  7. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    Welcome to the forum heartbroken. It is lovely to have you. You are certainly not intruding, as others have mentioned, there is an active Carers group here, I am a carer myself, as is my husband and son, who are members here. You are most welcome to post anywhere on this forum, and I extend a special welcome for you to post in Carers. We do understand and only wish to help. I am looking forward to chatting with you more.
  8. Nicolette

    Nicolette ♡ Supporter Admin ♡ Supporter Admin Sponsor $100+

    Welcome heartbroken

    Feel free to come down to the carer's section and talk some more. Everyone is really nice and most supportive.
  9. rob4444

    rob4444 Active Member

    hi heartbroken...im a ptsd sufferer,but not a serviceman...you accurately described a lot of symptoms i have in common to your husband...i personaly felt more love and appreciation for my wife than ever,but my ability to show affection was in tatters...it was like i was the moon,all alone,cold and desolate..the earth was too far to touch..but my amazing wife learnt to be my sun..she lights me up with her persistent love..in turn i can reflect some back on her....believe me things will improve as you start working him out..it may be a hard road, but the love of a good woman is priceless....
  10. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi heartbroken, welcome to the forum.
  11. vera

    vera Active Member

    hi! =) welcome
  12. nov_silence

    nov_silence Well-Known Member

    Glad you are here!

    Both my husband and I have PTSD. However, recently, he has been far removed. He tells me loves me and wants to be with me, but there is this great cavern of disconnect- lonliness that's really hard to abide with. Sounds like you are struggling, but find support here, you are in the right place.

    Welcome again!
  13. stephm48

    stephm48 New Member

    Husband has PTSD

    Hi Heartbroken,
    I'm coming across this a year after you posted, but I'm in the exact same situation. Has your husband gotten help? Have things gotten better at all? My husband said he would "think" about going to see someone. That's a huge step for him. I'm not going to let it go.
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