Sufferer Hi, I need help

Bartleby08

New Here
Hi there, I just found out about this forum. Hoping it may help me seek further help.

A little background, I self diagnosed myself with PTSD a few years ago due to an abusive relationship that began 11 years ago. In 2010 I (f) moved in with, at that time, a friend (m) of mine. He seemed great at first, but not long into it he became verbally, mentally, and emotionally abuse towards me. I was warned that he could be an a-hole, but I didn't realize how bad it would turn out to be. I kept telling myself it would get better, I was very meek back then and had a hard time getting out of that situation. I finally moved out in 2012 but the damage was done and the effects from it are stil there. Mentally, things are better than they were back then but its still there and it still hurts me everyday. Paranoia, scared so see him in public or the chance he would show up to my house. He used to threaten me and I'm still scared some days that he may follow through. I have a hard tine holding down jobs because of interactions with people, and I have a hard time keeping friends or wanting to see or communicate with people. I have trust issues, and I have so many other triggers that effect my day to day life. I was, up until a couple years ago, a pretty heavy drinker. I would lash out at my loved ones because I couldn't cope. My abusers voice is with me almost everyday. I'm tired of taking it out on my loved ones, and I'm desperate for help lately. I don't know what to do anymore. I tried mindful meditation a few years ago and that seemed to help for a bit. I just need to reach out to someone, and hoping this site might offer recources or the right direction. I have not sought therapy yet, and at this time I cannot afford it. I just need to reach out to someone.

Sorry for the long winded speech, not sure if this was an appropriate introduction, I still need to look at the other forum topics too.
 

Geopolis

Confident
Welcome @Bartleby08 reaching out here is a great first step! There is much support to be had on this forum. I find that it is essential for me to work with a professional in conjunction with utilizing this amazing communities support.

Take your time and look around! The more you share the more help you may get. Looking forward to seeing you around 👍
 
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